Cop Out Review

image from Amazon

Premise:
Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan are a stereotypical pair of buddy cops who both deal with personal issues (Morgan thinks his wife is cheating on him and Willis has to pay for his daughter's wedding), and business issues (the entire department thinks their a joke, and they're unorthodox manner of destroying things and causing a public nuisance while trying to solve crimes don't help!) The main conflict comes when Bruce Willis tries to sell a mint condition baseball card worth a huge heap of money but it gets stolen from him in a coincidental store robbery. Now the buddy cops have to get it back!


Standouts:
I know Nick feels differently, but personally, I wasn't a fan of Seann William Scott's character. I thought he was too juvenile, too over the top, and felt like he was putting too much into a character with no real significance. His character should have either been given more time to develop or Scott should have toned it down a notch. Other standouts include predictability in Tracy Morgan's conflict and a really lame ending for the primary villain of the film. You think the primary villain is going to get a respectable run only to be let down tasting anti-climactic bitterness.


My Highlights:




Overall Rating:
The predictability in areas where there shouldn't have been such, and the unpredictability when you needed logical closure really brought the film down for me, but it was still a lot of fun in areas. I give this film a respectable 3 *'s out of 5, or 6 *'s out of 10.


When You Should See It:
It's not a movie to make an active effort to go out and see, but it's not a movie to make an active effort to avoid either. If you're over a friend's house and he's got in on, give it a watch and see how you feel, but don't be that friend who wasted a rental queue spot on it.

CBVGR: Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard and Matt Hazard: Blood Bath and Beyond

Video Review:


Script: Welcome to the Clearance Bin Video Game Review by Organized Remains. Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard is what I'm playing today. I'm playing it on the PS3, but it's also available for the Xbox 360. I want to send a thanks to ImmortalSlayer90 for telling us about this game, and that it's only $17.99 at GameStop. The was before, and now Matt Hazard is even cheaper, and can be found for $10 shipped at Half.com. I will also be reviewing the sequel Matt Hazard: Blood Bath and Beyond which is on the PSN, and Xbox Live Arcade for $15.

First on to Matt Hazard... ugh I mean Eat Lead. In my opinion I think Matt Hazard: Eat Lead sounds like a better name. Well they did change it for the sequel to Matt Hazard, so kodos to them. This whole game is parodies of other games, so if you've never played a video game before, you will get lost when it comes to the story. Well actually you will be lost during the whole game.

Matt Hazard the character is a parody of Duke Nukem I believe. Possibly Serious Sam. Other characters in the game poke fun of other video game characters, like the level 75 Billy the Wizard for an example. The levels, tutorials, and loading screens poke fun at video game cliches. The more in-depth story is about Matt Hazard an action gaming icon of the 80s. He has a lifetime contract with a company, and now the only way the company can get rid of him is to kill him off. You get help from a girl that works with the company, shes not as funny, but helps you a lot in the game. The story is very entertaining, and will make you laugh at points.

As for the gameplay dun dun dun the controls are not the best, but I think they work. Sure you have to get use to it, but in no time you'll be fine. The game is difficult, and can get frustrating at times. Especially this giant squid, luckily there's a checkpoint during it. Which I must thank the developers for giving me plenty of checkpoints. Also dodging for cover can be frustrating. I'm behind a box, and I want to go to the other box across the room. I will hit the action button, and he will move to the box, but be on the wrong side of it. Now I'm in direct line of fire. You're just better off running over there without the game's help.

Final Say: Eat Lead proves to be a good game. Sure the gameplay could have been better, and it can get repetitive, but the story is entertaining. The game itself won't keep you playing, it's the story. Think about that when purchasing this game, because if you just want a great shooter you should probably look somewhere else. If you want a funny story, and take a break from the more serious type stories other games put out there, go with Eat Lead.

This is Organized... Shawn - "WHAT ABOUT THE MATT HAZARD SEQUEL!"

Oh right Matt Hazard: Blood Bath and Beyond like I said it's $15 for the PSN, or Xbox Live Arcade. This time Matt Hazard is in the 2D world, running side to side. All the parodies of other games are still in this one, and Matt Hazard is always cracking jokes. This time though there isn't any voice acting, it's just text. They do make jokes about the voice acting not being there, but it does bring the game down a little.

The game is basically just like Contra, and Metroid. Running along, and BAM! Then some more running along, and BAM! The game looks nice visually, and the controls work pretty well, but it does get repetitive. Luckily this game can be completed in 2 to 3 hours... oh wait that's a bad thing.

Final Say: I can't recommend Matt Hazard: Blood Bath and Beyond. $15 for a 2 to 3 hour game!? I just can't! Even if it's on sale it's hard to recommend. Not when Shadow Complex is the same price, and that game offers a lot more, and is much longer.

GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra Review

image from Amazon

Premise:
In a not too distant, surprisingly non-dystopian future where we've cured cancer with nanotechnology (molecule sized... robots or something that interact with blood cells), President of the Scottish M.A.R.S. company, James McCullen turns the beautiful medical technology into a weapon by creating nanobot-warheads for America. McCullen gets caught selling to both sides however, also providing Cobra Commander with the weapons. Simple, straight-laced, following-orders to deliver from point-A to point-B, army foot soldiers, Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) survive their convoy team being utterly destroyed by Cobra who try to steal Warheads. They then join the elite intercepting team who save their lives but still lose the warheads, GI Joe. Now the race is on to get those warheads back before people the world over are forced to have their back against the wall against a powerful terrorist organization.


Standouts:
The colors and special effects are pretty and dazzling at times. Nothing you haven't seen before, but at least utilized well. The acting and dialog teeter-totters from cool, to bearable, to laughable for the wrong reasons. Honestly when the movie was hitting theaters there was a buzz around like it was the worst movie ever made and people who worked on it knew this ahead of time, so I went in expecting something to tear apart and crack jokes about but I was pleasantly surprised. For the most part I believed in the characters. Joseph Gordon-Levitt was a throwback to sinister, evil, madmen doctors from years past, Channing Tatum was a heart's-bigger-than-head brave leader, Lee Byung-Hun (Storm Shadow) was a completely believable twisted Asian martial artist/ninja that made me hope to see more of him in American films. Sienna Miller as The Baroness and Rachel Nichols as Scarlett looked gorgeous but probably had the worst acting. But at least their characters were pretty cool. And hott.


My Highlights:
I really enjoyed the whole Paris chase scene as everyone rushes to the Eiffel Tower, even if it incorporated the much ridiculed Iron Man-esque super cyborg suits that give people monkey-like agility. It may be because I never watched the original GI Joe cartoons or read the GI Joe comics, but seeing as how in the last 20+ years we've only gotten more and more obsessed with advancing technology, especially in our military, I could buy it. Other highlights include every Storm Shadow vs. Snake-Eyes fight, and the entire conclusion of the film. It made me hungry for a sequel!


Overall Rating:
It wasn't exactly The Expendables, but it was leaps and bounds better than what I went in expecting. It's got some great action, some great characters, some great looking babes and you only have to sit through the occasional scene of crappy acting or dialog. I loved it enough to rate it 3 1/2 *'s out of 5, or 7 out of 10.


When You Should See It:
If you're looking to rent a cheesy, non-thinker of a popcorn action flick, you could do worse than this film. Go for the rent. I also imagine it'll be on cable TV or at least pay TV soon because it wasn't long before it reached Netflix Instant Watch, which is how I watched it. I have a pretty extensive queue on Instant Watch but I have no regrets having watched this over other films on there.

Beyond Survival Review

I almost missed this new show Beyond Survival. I'm not sure if the show was advertised that much, but I didn't catch one commercial for it until I saw that it was after Man, Woman, Wild. When I saw that Les Stroud from Survivorman was back in action I was very excited.

Beyond Survival isn't like any other survival show out there. It shows the ways of different people in different locations surviving. They're technically surviving, but it doesn't end with Les Stroud finding a way home. Instead it's Les Stroud getting lessons on survival from people, and then teaching the T.V. viewers like myself how it's done.

At first I wasn't so sure about this show. That was until they started showing how they get food. When it comes to fishing this tribe gets a tall stick/log and builds a seat on it. They then stick the log into the ground in the water. They sit on the top of it, and fish in the middle of the body of water. Then they showed a slingshot that looked like a bow an arrow. It's hard to explain it in writing, but I found a video of what it looked like. After seeing these things in action, I was enjoying this show a lot.



Final Say: Beyond Survival is a little different than the other survival shows, but still proves to be very educational at the same time of being entertaining. I can't promise that all survival show fans will enjoy this show, but I think most of them will. This is a show worth checking out on the Discovery Channels on Fridays.

Asylum by Disturbed Review

image from Amazon

Artist: Disturbed
Album: Asylum
Release Date: August 31, 2010
Tracks: 13 (plus bonus songs in Deluxe Editions)
Runtime: 47:32


Track Rundown:
(All ratings out of 5 *'s)


1) "Remnants"
All instrumental and a beautiful piece of music. It's heavy on the the guitar riffs and yet mourningful and dramatic, kind of like "One", "Welcome Home" or "Fade to Black" by Metallica. And it floats right into the second track, which is a cool album-device to use, especially if you use it right. 4 *'s out of 5, only losing a little bit of it's charm because it's so short.


2) "Asylum"
Do you like the guttural dog-monkey noise that lead singer David Draiman makes in some songs? I do! So I love this song. Every minute of this four and a half minute track somehow surpasses the awesomeness of the last. 5 *'s out of 5.


3) "The Infection"
This track has some amazing guitar work, both in the opening of the song and in the empty bridges near the chorus. The lyrics and chorus are phenomenal but the pace of the verses really kind of sours the song for me. It felt a little too light and ... dare I say, pop-rock. Still not an awful song though, 3 3/4 *'s out of 5.


4) "Warrior"
Similar to the song "Indestructible" from Disturbed's last album (also named Indestructible), this song I'm kind of on the fence about because it's so raw, gritty and loud. I like the lyrics and the tone, but there's something a little too rough about it. However, I know that when I hear the song again a few times, especially if matched with some awesome videos like a Call of Duty commercial or a video tributing something bad to the bone, I'll fall madly in love with this track. So keeping that in mind, I give this track 4 1/2 *'s out of 5.


5) "Another Way To Die"
The first track of the album that lead me to buying this album essentially blind (meaning without hearing any of the other songs). It's so in your face and packs so much attitude that I can't not love it. 5 *'s out of 5.


6) "Never Again"
This song would be wild to witness/hear live at a concert. The music is nothing short of incredible, but I'm actually on the fence about the lyrics. It's really driven home that the lead singer is Jewish and is still torn up about the Holocaust, especially when there are people out there who believe it never happened. I know this isn't the first time Disturbed have touched upon something semi-political, if that's even the right word for talking about this subject, but it doesn't reel me in. If the lyrics are just a little more vague talking about genocides in general rather than the specific WWII occurrence I think it would have effected a much vaster audience. I mean there are still genocides going on today. 4 *'s out of 5, but it might be a generous rating.


7) "The Animal"
Werewolf songs are awesome so long as you block out images from Twilight when listening to them. Other excellent Werewolf (or similar) songs, "She-Wolf" by Megadeth, "Animal I Have Become" by Three Days Grace, "Werewolf Women of the SS" by Rob Zombie, and "Werewolf, Baby!" also by Rob Zombie. There's something very relatable to having a wild Id (psychology term) that wants to break lose, and that'll score some brownie points with me. 5 *'s out of 5.


8) "Crucified"
This track I feel like I'm going to be unfair to, because if it came from a band like Breaking Benjamin it would instantly respark my long-long-long-lost love for that band. If any new band came out with this song, I'd love them. It's edgy and racy, but on the whole for the album it's really one of the least pleasing songs. It's a big letdown from some of the five star tracks I've heard, but I still can't find a way to give it a bad score. 3 *'s out of 5, though it hurts me to do so.


9) "Serpentine"
Mad TV has ruined this track title for me. Anybody remember Loraine and her always-behind-the-camera husband Carl causing mischief then bolting while Loraine calls out "Serpentine!"? Anyways, while "your heart is serpentine" (meaning s-shaped) is a cool line, I couldn't get into this song much. Pretty skippable, but still can appreciate the work that went into it. 3 *'s out of 5.


10) "My Child"
According to Wikipedia, this is a song about miscarriage. What a perky topic! No, really, it's about much more than that. The story tells the tale of a man into all the bad stuff, sinning it up and going crazy, but when he finds out he's going to be a dad he puts childish behavior away. Then his kid doesn't make it and he's left empty and broken. THAT'S DEEP! 5 *'s for me for singing about a real topic.


11) "Sacrifice"
While not as catchy as the ever-popular "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit, similar message but with the darkness turned way up. I can dig it. 4 *'s out of 5.


12) "Innocence"
Boy, does that Disturbed like to sing about Hell or what? A reminder at how desensitized we are to all the bad news in the media, while the lead singer isn't. He's sick of hearing about the dad who murders his family, or mothers killing their children. Music-wise it's not the best track on the album, but overall the song is a thinker and has a good message. 4 *'s out of 5.


13) "Ishfwilf" AKA "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" originally by U2
When I saw this on the track listing my curiosity generated a "lol, I gotta hear this." Apparently it's supposed to be a secret bonus track, because you get a minute and a half of silence before anything kicks in. ... Yeah, that's a good idea in today's modern day of digital media. I really wanna put this song on my iPod or even on my computer so that whenever I get to this track I have to freak out and wonder why my stereo/speakers aren't working. And as if people don't have internet these days and are FORCED to go just off of what tracks are listed on the back cover of the album rather than look at the Amazon/iTunes/etc track listing. Just... what? But with my face-palm to the producers out of the way, this song is hilariously epic. It's not bad at all and in my mind shows another side to the band saying they know they're supposed to be dark, brooding and loud, but they're still humans who have other interests and occasional moments of happiness. And the tone of the albeit heavy metal cover is one of brevity saying "Hey, we like to have fun too!" I love it just for the ridiculousness. 5 *'s out of 5.


My Highlights:
"Asylum", "Another Way To Die", "The Animal", "My Child", and "Ishfwilf" just for the sure ridiculousness.


Overall Rating:
Averaging all the track ratings, the overall rating for Asylum is a whopping 4 1/2 *s out of 5! That's 9 out of 10! And if you pick up a deluxe edition of this album (the version I got off of Amazon included a live version of "Down With The Sickness" and "Stricken") then this might even include an extra 1/4 * for you! Just the standard edition alone however blows most albums today's music industry serves out of the water!

Xbox Live Going Going Gone! (Prices wise)

Xbox people are not happy these days because of a price increase that is set to happen in November. For one year the price of Xbox live will be $60 going up $10. People are threatening to quit due to the change in Digg... I mean Xbox Live.

What's my thoughts on this? To quote Cheapy D over at CheapAssGamer.com, "Has any CAG in their life ever paid full price for Live anyway?" I have to agree with him. You only need to pay for membership once a year. During the year many different retailers offer great sales of Xbox Live 12 Month cards. The lowest I've seen them at is $30.00.

Still, a price rise is not something no one wants to see. Everyone has just been cranky lately, school starting, everyone getting used to Reddit, and now Xbox Live. Good news though is that the DSI, and DSI XL are both getting price drops! Also It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is coming back in a couple of weeks!

Zoolander Sequel

According to Slashfilm, Ben Stiller has confirmed through twitter that a sequel to Zoolander is in the works. Helping Stiller with the script for this film is Justin Theroux, who made himself a big name from writing Tropic Thunder and Iron Man 2. Stiller wisely demanded Owen Wilson reprise his role as Hansel, which I'm all for because Owen Wilson's a great actor. Jonah Hill is apparently is negotiations to play the role of the main villain of this film as well. This, I'm not so sure if I like. Typically I don't mean Jonah Hill, as I've liked him in quite a few films, but I just saw Strange Wilderness and that soured my opinion of him. I'm sure once I see Get Him To The Greek I'll be right back on his bandwagon.

The problem with using this screen writer, with the kind of movies he's made lately, and starring Stiller, Wilson and Hill is the price. Apparently the studio is very hesitant about forking over the cash for this sequel and is being very stingy with the budget. So I wouldn't expect another gasoline fight scene, but a lot of the first film's highlights didn't involve explosions or pricey special effects. Just use the full extent of the budget on advertising and stars who know how what to do when the camera's on. They can shoot in in Stiller's neighborhood and get extras looking for "BIG NAME MOVIE" on their resume.

For those of you who haven't seen Zoolander a hundred times by now and are sick of the film, enjoy this youtube video I found.