Saturday, May 30, 2009
16 Volt
16 Volt wants to spread their music out more and get more people to listen to them. Well there is no better way to do this than giving it out for free. Even if you end up not liking it, then you can delete it. So I think it's worth a shot to listening to. With 7 albums to download, you might even become a big fan of them.
I'm a couple of songs into the Best Of album and I can tell you that they are like NIN (industrial music). So if you are into NIN, then you should obviously check this out. Even if you are not a fan of NIN, check them out... did I mention it was free?
Click here for the albums
-Nick
Friday, May 29, 2009
Ferris Bueller

If I could buy anything from Ferris Bueller, it would be a no brainer. The burping, vomiting, coughing and sneezing keyboard (That or Ed Rooney's mustache). Now you are probably saying, "I would take that red Ferrari they drove around in, that thing could pick up a lot of chicks. I would probably get millions of chicks... a day! If I had that red Ferrari from Ferris Bueller." Sadly the Ferrari isn't an option because it fell off a building. While the keyboard and the mustache (I hope!) are in perfectly good condition.
Shawn Says What!?
Shawn says he would choose the pool that Cameron Frye nearly drowns in. Shawn sympathized with Cameron, as he himself can not swim. On the other hand, Shawn also saw Cameron as nothing short of a pimp when he was revealing he was pranking the unbeatable Ferris Bueller, and that he potentially saw the lovely Sloan Peterson getting changed. Cameron Frye, you are Shawn's hero.

-Nick and Shawn
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Buster Bunny
Here is a short summary of the video. The gang finds some beer and decide to drink it. They start to grow some facial hair and sexually harass the ladies. They then decide it would be a great idea to steal a cop car and die.
At the end they say, "Do you think the kids got it?" To which you hear, "I hope so because drinking is really uncool."
Well I don't think they got the message because this was only on T.V. once. I'm surprised it even was on once... but then again we did have Ren and Stimpy. This is just a really cool gem if you were a fan of the Tiny Toons.
-Nick
Monday, May 25, 2009
Bionic Commando: Rearmed
Should you go ahead and get it at this price? I would say yes. The game has really fun mechanics to it. The only thing I can complain about it is the difficulty of the game. It's really frustrating at times and makes you scream "OMKTF! WHY!!!!!!" Alright... I'm probably the only one that has yelled that, but the game is very difficult! If you like easy and only easy games, then I would stay away from this. If not, go and pick this up for the 400 point price tag. The game is a really fun side scroller.
To learn more click here.
This deal will be gone by this Monday.
-Nick
"21st Century Breakdown" by Green Day
Green Day has been a staple of American culture for the majority of my life, and their new album, 21st Century Breakdown has been praised as a masterpiece, genius, and reminiscent of such greats as The Who, David Bowie, Queen, The Ramones, The Sex Pistols, and The Clash. Unlike these high paid reporters whose job is to blow hot air into the ego balloon of the better known bands pushed on us by record companies, I review more for myself and my friends, the average folk. When you go to Amazon.com, go to the Best Of (Insert Year Here) of the Music Section, you’ll see Top 100 Editor’s Picks… and Top 100 Customer Favorites. You’d think the Customer Favorites would somehow take precedent, but it’s the editors who are at the top of the page, and the lists sometimes differ quite a bit.
The CD is something of a concept album, in that Green Day set out to tell a story, through Rock Opera, about a young couple by the name of Christian and Gloria, living in the post-George W. Bush United States. Because of the Rock Opera format, the album is “divided” into three “Acts”, which really, you would only figure out by doing your research. So here we go – a track by track review, giving a brief reasoning and * rating between 1-5 (1 being I’m on the verge of killing myself and 5 being I have a new will to live)
1) “Song Of The Century” – 57 seconds long, so not much to judge by. It’s your typical “intro” track to an album, but it wasn’t bad. I’ve certainly heard more irritating intros. I typically wouldn’t rate an intro track, but this has enough songs on it to balance out any kind of impact this rating would have. 4 *’s.
Act 1: Heroes and Cons
2) “21st Century Breakdown” – Comes off very soft lyrically and vocally, whereas the guitar and drums maintain their Punk roots. Also felt the usage of piano in this song was utterly useless and even somewhat detracting. The album titled track did give me an idea of the taste in my mouth this album will leave, which is a very counter-Punk vibe. Kind of like how Metallica or Guns N’ Roses occasionally go ballsy enough to bring in a full orchestra because they’ve built up enough fan merit to do so. Not a great song, but not awful. A pretty sweet guitar riff at the 4 minute, 23 second mark really did wonders for the song, even if it was brief. 3 ½ *’s.
3) “Know Your Enemy” – The first single of the album; the first song that the band felt comfortable enough to put out to the public as a first impression of the album, and frankly, I’m not a fan. I know there are fans of this song, but it just weighs as too repetitive for me, and nothing about the music says daring. The best part of the song is the “oh-wey oh-wey”, which you’ll hear a lot. 3 ½ *’s, but being generous.
4) “¡Viva La Gloria!” – This is kind of a fake-out track, as it starts with a Paul McCartney on piano feeling melody, love-song, with fourteen year old emo poetry lyrics, then the only thing missing is some obnoxious static as a “HA! HOPE YOU HAD THE VOLUME CRANKED!” Things jump into a more Punk ruckus that’ll be sure to start mosh pits in concerts. Sadly, the lyrics don’t much improve, but at least you’re reminded of some good classic Green Day. 4 *’s, maybe 4 ½ depending on how much the album is going to need a favor.
5) “Before The Lobotomy” – Really hammering in that this is meant to be a “rock opera” album, we get an opening homage to “Live And Let Die”, or so it sounds to me. Things pick up, but lack their punk edge, feeling more folksy and Jimmy Buffett at times. I like Jimmy Buffett just fine, but when I’m looking for some Green Day, I’m not looking for “Margarittaville”. I’d say 2 ½ *’s. Pretty mediocre stuff that was especially hurt by its runtime. The length of the song drew out the lack of focus and its jumping around of tone, which lacks any sort of flow.
6) “Christian’s Inferno” – A very gnarly guitar opening that surprisingly had me headbanging for a little bit. Chorus is painful to listen to, and the bridge into the chorus is even worse, but the delivery on the verses are very rad. As much as I like this song for the verses, the chorus and bridges to the chorus really take it down probably a whole star to 3*s.
7) “Last Night On Earth” – Very 50’s doo-wop ballad, that I’m actually really big on. Heavy on the piano, but with the right balance of soft guitar picking and lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong really keeps the high school prom dance mood. 5*’s.
Act II: Charlatans and Saints
8) “East Jesus Nowhere” – Of all the crossovers I never thought I’d be wishing for, I’d love to see Marilyn Manson cover this song in his live performances, or do a duet with Green Day on this. Cynical, morbid, dark, heavy and if it weren’t for Billie Joe Armstrong’s high pitched Punk voice, it’d be officially Metal. It’s lacking any sort of Green Day feel to it, but it’s still an excellent song. 5*’s.
9) “Peacemaker” – Green Day does a Mariachi! Ay yi yi! I don’t expect this track to make it to radio, but a nice soundtrack positioning would do wonders for it. Possibly the hidden gem of the album that will be overlooked, but should be sought out by fans. 5*’s.
10) “Last Of The American Girls” – As soon as you turn this song on, you know the predictable path it’s going to take, but it has a lot of promise in taking that path. Well, it doesn’t live up to the promise. Everything builds up to that moment you get excited for – the music drops off and the vocals carry through something really catchy you can sing with. No dice. Lyrically, it’s a great song, and if you can just concentrate on that, it’d probably be a 4* number, maybe 4 ½ *’s, but the floor has dropped out on Billie Joe Armstrong and this performance. There was no umph, no kuzunga, no pizzaz. For that, I’m dropping it to a 2 ½ *’s, which is a big dip, but it’s an easy path to take and the listener doesn’t like to be bait and switched.
11) “Murder City” – This song just irritated me because it had the delivery I was looking for in “Last Of The American Girls” but without the hype that the previous mentioned song did. Some great guitar work but as an overall song, very meh. 2 *’s. I actually couldn’t wait for it to be over.
12) “¿Viva La Gloria? (Little Girl)” – Predating even the earlier played 50’s doo-wop, this song sounds to be a re-mastering of a 20’s song or earlier. Very basic format to the point you’d expect to find it in a musical like Sweeney Todd or Moulin Rouge. Definitely daring, but I’m uneasy about the delivery. A downright tasty guitar solo at 2:40 that you think is going to be a sample from They Might Be Giants “Istanbul (Not Constantinople)” but definitely molds it into something with more punch. 3 *’s, which was earned majorly off of the music, not the lyrics or vocals.
13) “Restless Heart Syndrome” – Not a song meant for album listeners, but more so when people see the actual concert they recognize it’s on the album. For a live concert, likely a very breathtaking experience, but when the music alone is your sole activity, it’s downright boring. At 2:45, we’re reminded how in your face the guitarist is with a thrasher of a solo, but it’s become a novelty that’s worn thin and can’t save this track. 1 1/2*’s.
Act III: Horseshoes and Handgrenades
14) “Horseshoes And Handgrenades” – Nothing really original about the track and nothing breathtaking about the performance either, except Billie Joe Armstrong tries his hand at Screamo, but the gimmick isn’t strong enough to salvage much hope for this track. 2 *’s.
15) “The Static Age” – I’m hoping this becomes the second single of the album, not because it’s going to blow anyone’s mind, but because it’s almost Summer, and this is exactly what I think of when listening to this. How Summer? Bryan Adams’ “Summer Of 69” or Don Henley’s “Boys Of The Summer” Summer. That Summer. If I had a stunningly nice car, this is what I’d pull up to my friends blasting out of my radio. 4 1/2*’s.
16) “21 Guns” – It’s like someone made a tribute band of John Lennon based off of a love of “Imagine” but then tried to create some fresh material… and sucked. I kind of wished I could think of something productive to be doing while listening to this, like clipping toe nails or something. And GOD does this f’n track drag on, and on, and on, and on. 1 *.
17) “American Eulogy: Mass Hysteria/Modern World” – Pushing the envelope all the way to white boys from California using the N-Word. It’s got a great beat to it, that’s very early 90’s Punk. If any of it was made a point to stand out vocally, you’d probably be singing along with it, but in that department it’s pretty flat. You kind of want to sing along “I don’t want to live in the Modern World” but it’s sung so fast and bled together that it’s almost surprising they can sing it. 2 ½ *’s.
18) “See The Light” – Really relying on the music as opposed to the lyrics or vocals, but the music is quality here. A solid end to the album that left a decent taste in my mouth overall. 3 ½*s.
My Highlights: Forget the mainstream feeding you singles like “Know Your Enemy”, here’s what you’re looking for: “Last Night On Earth”, “East Jesus Nowhere” and “Peacemaker”. You’ve got a romantic slow dance song to make your lady swoon, a ‘throw you out the window for looking at me wrong in the bar’, ‘put out a cigarette on my arm because I can’, ‘to hell with the establishment’ Punk-Metal song, and a desperado, there’s a new sheriff in down, I do my talking with my six shooter rocker song.
Overall Rating: 3 ¼ *’s. It’s rare to come across a real high quality must-buy album these days where every song is a winner, unless you’re picking up a best of compilation, but this is a pretty excellent CD overall. It’s not something you can put on shuffle and be content with whatever comes on, but if you’re a Green Day fanatic, this is a must-have, and if you’re just looking for some quality tunes, it’s not a bad find. I say with your financial situation on my shoulders, go ahead and buy it.
Contests
*WARNING!* These contests require you to give out personal information like name, address and a phone number. If you do not want to give out information like that, then don't continue to read the rest of the blog.
*Warning* Before signing up for these contest, you might want to invest in getting an E-mail strictly just for these contests. You don't need a fancy E-mail address, a Hotmail or Yahoo E-mail will work just fine. Most of these contests don't give you spam E-mails, but it's good to have.
Contest 1: My Coke
This contest is called Twist txt get and Coke is giving out prizes every 5 mins. I actually won a $20 cash card from this contest. To warn you though, when you win the cash card, it takes you to another site and makes you sign up again to redeem it. You can either take the rechargeable cash card (for if you win again) or take the one that is not rechargeable. The rechargeable card asked for my Social Security Number (I think the reason is because it's basically a credit card). I went with the one that couldn't be recharged though because I didn't want to give out my SSN. I have read that people have been receiving their cash (It's just a risk that you can take, if you want to give out your SSN).
They want you to txt codes to win these prizes, but that seems kind of lame right? Let me show you how to enter without using a phone or getting codes under Coke caps.
1. Go to this link and register. After registering you will need to login. (The register and login button should be on the top right corner.)
2. After being logged in click the button that says Twist txt get.
3. You will be brought to a screen with two options. Both options are the same contest. I think the one with the single bottle is the old contest and the one with two bottles is the new contest. (I won this contest from clicking the two bottle picture)
4. Now click the Official Rules button shown in the picture below.
5. You will have to scroll down a little and look for a link that says Click Here. Look at the image below.
6. It's going to ask you for address information and then it will tell you if you have won. You only have two chances a day to win.Contest 2: Subway
What do you think of the movie trailers for Land of the Lost? Could be good? Could be bad? Well here is a contest that could land you free tickets to it and even Subway gift cards.
Go to the link and click play now. It's going to then ask for an E-mail and address information. You will then be taken to the Land of the Lost board game (and yes you have to play it to win).
Here are some codes to help you on your way.
- MYSTERYCAVE (unlocks climbing gear)
- SLEESTAK (unlocks chaka)
- XW79NB0328 (unlocks rafting kit)
Unlike the Coke contest, once you win, there is no more chances of win..
Contest 3: World of Warcraft Mountain Dew Game Fuel giveaway
This contest actually hasn't started yet (Starts May 29th). This contest requires points to enter. So you might as well start now, so you can get as many points as you can before May 29th.
Go to the link and sign up. Then click the button at the bottom that says "Start Earning Tokens Today."
-Nick
Friday, May 22, 2009
The Fray (STA)
Artist/Band: The Fray
Album: The Fray (Self Titled Album)
Release Date: February 3, 2009
Tracks: 10
Runtime: 47 Minutes
Track Breakdown:
1) “Syndicate” – A decent piano tune, but completely unremarkable. With lyrics that sound like you should be sung a lullaby, instead of being soothed, you’re given an upbeat, just a little-to-loud pop-rock tone. 1 ½ *’s.
2) “Absolute” – Lacking rhyme scheme, alliteration structure, and anything distinctive about it, this is looking to be a poor album already. It’s credibility becomes shoddy when I’m actually glad that a track sounds like it’s borrowing from Switchfoot. 1 ½ *’s.
3) “You Found Me” – (Click title for youtube link) Likely the only reason this album was rushed out to the public. Naturally, selling over two million digital downloads in the United States alone, You Found Me is a reaching out to anyone who’s ever struggled. It’s also totally rad to think about God chilling, smoking a cigarette, even though I’m a very anti-tobacco proponent. 5*’s.
4) “Say When” - Another case of great lyrics, wrong pitch. I can understand desperately wanting someone to the point of agony, but what I’m hearing in the tone of the song is more of a funeral comfort song. Someone else is going through a hard time and you want to comfort them, not your own turmoil. 2 ½ *’s.
5) “Never Say Never” – (Click title for youtube link) The second single of the album, very heavy on the somber tone and lyrics, which surprisingly, do match. The delivery falls a little flat in areas, particularly where singer, Isaac Slade tries to be Keane or James Blunt with his falsetto’s, but not everyone can deliver a great piano-driven melody like Seal. Overall, just a slightly better than mediocre track. 3 ½ *’s.
6) “Where The Story Ends” – Despite the line in this song “I know you hate this one”, I actually found it just peppy enough to be a toe-tapper. It’s almost like the Peanuts theme. I don’t feel inspired by it in anyway, but it’s listenable to. 3*’s.
7) “Enough For Now” – (Click title for youtube link) An emotionally packed punch from way down deep, great for anyone who’s dealing with the passing of a loved one, especially a father figure. The likely dark horse of the album that won’t receive the media-driven acclaim it’ll deserve. No music video, no radio play, just a secret gem for those who actually buy the CD or seek it out based off of reviews like mine. 5*’s.
8) “Ungodly Hour” – While Isaac Slade times and hits his falsettos well in this track, there’s little substance to really sink your teeth into. The story is clear – your girl is leaving you, but we the listeners don’t receive much insight into your feelings on the matter beyond your near-tears singing. Tossing out the line “I am short on words” isn’t an e-ticket to acceptance. If you don’t know how to articulate your thoughts, then maybe don’t make a song about it just yet. A generous 3*’s.
9) “We Build Then We Break” – If I understand the lyrics correctly, Slade is ready to murder someone for hurting a girl he loves. On paper, that sounds like a great topic to hit on, but when it comes to delivery, it just comes across as pop and soft-spoken as everything else on this album. You really have to dig into your dark side to construct a revenge song with a piano. 2*’s.
10) “Happiness” – Filler, filler, filler, filler. I don’t really care what little things makes you happy, such as a firecracker sitting on your headboard. But I think the main reason I don’t care is because I’m not forced to care. There was nothing drawing me in about this song. 1 ½ *’s, ending like we began.
My Highlights: Obviously, the two singles of the album – “You Found Me”, and “Never Say Never”, but especially check out “Enough For Now” to be on the inside scoop before it launches into popularity. This way, you can be that totally cool person who can brag “I knew about that song waaaay before it got all this radioplay!” Who doesn’t want that street cred?
Overall Rating: Averaging the stars, it comes to roughly 2 ¾ *’s. What that means – don’t waste your money on the album. I couldn’t suggest shelling out the shillings for anything under 3*’s, however, do make it a point to listen to My Highlights. Other than those slim pickings from this short album, you’re not really missing anything.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Doom Triple Pack

I came across this today and thought the gamers that read this blog would enjoy this. Someone put three games (Doom, Hexen and Heretic) in one. Most of you probably have played Doom before. The great thing about this is... no downloading! Just play it in your web browser.
So if you would like some nostalgia today. Check out the Doom Triple Pack.
Now we just need some Wolfenstein and we will be all set.
-Nick
Monday, May 18, 2009
Chuck, As Poor As The Rest Of Us
This spells trouble in my mind. Chuck's whole premise revolves around a decent budget. It's a spy show, meaning you need weapons, explosions, rooms to tear apart during fight scenes, cars, weekly villains, and to add to that: Chuck works at an electronics store. So what will they do if the budget gets cut? It sounds like they'll have Chuck lose his job and get a new one at a Deli, or warehouse, and have one villain take a greater stance against Chuck, using much more mind games than attacks. And maybe this villain will be a master of debate, who will constantly visit Chuck on a regular basis just to put him down verbally.
If the show can last through Season 3 with this bogus budget cut, hopefully the DVD sales from the first two seasons can support a better fourth season. But as I cross my fingers for such an event, I'll just appreciate what fun Chuck has been in the past.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
TMNT Remake
This game is on the top of the list of games I wanted on the virtual consoles. So I will be purchasing this when it comes out (I will write a review). The word remake means that this game will be made into a 3D game. From what I have read, the game beside that will pretty much be the same as the Super Nintendo game.

Here is an image of the game that I found at Ninja Pizza. You can see more images of the game over there too.
I hope there will be more remakes of games. They are always remaking movies, So why not video games? I would love to see remakes of Earthbound, Crash Bandicoot and even the Simpson's arcade game.
-Nick
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Contest
http://pizzahut.eprize.net/terminator/index.tbapp
I just found out about a contest happening at 7-Eleven. Sure they want you to buy slurpees and use the slurpee points to enter in this contest. I'm not here to tell you to go buy things, because lets face it... would you? So I'm going to tell you how easy it is to enter in this contest for free.

Lets go over the prizes first:
* 10 Limited Edition Terminator Salvation Xbox 360 consoles
* 100 Terminator Salvation games
* 30 Xbox 360 wireless headsets
* 30 Xbox LIVE Three-Month Gold Subscriptions
Ok before I go any longer, let me tell you that you do need to sign up (how else would they know where to ship your Xbox?). You also have to be 13 years of age to join.
1. Go to http://www.slurpeenationrewards.com/boutique/instant-wins/may-instant-win-game
2. It's going to tell you need to have points, but instead you're just going to click the official rules button.
3. While in the official rules box, click "To Enter Free, Click Here."
4. It's going to ask you to join, if you haven't so.
5. After you are signed up, then enter the contest. You can enter up to 5 times a day. They will send you an email right after you enter, to tell you if you're a winner.
No idea if the Terminator Salvation game is any good, but hey! If it's free, might as well give it a shot.
-Nick
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Wanda Sykes Tears Em Apart
Wanda Sykes kicks butt and takes names here. She doesn't pull any punches! I say good for her.
Also check out Obama's speech at College Humor.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Rock Music is the Devil
The story is that a kid from a Christian school wants to take his girlfriend to prom at her public high school. The Christian school does not like this idea and says he will be suspended from the school and not be able to participate in the graduation. He will still be able to graduate, well unless he partakes in drinking or having sex.
I would like to also quote this from Yahoo. "The handbook for the 84-student Christian school says rock music is part of the counterculture which seeks to implant seeds of rebellion in young people's hearts and minds." Which is awesome because I thought at proms these days would be playing Rap music.
So should the kid be able to go to this prom, without getting in trouble? There are only two sides of this, Religious person or Rock star.
Religious person: If he goes he will listen to rock music and be sent to the fire pit of Hell.
Rock star: So?
Religious person: You don't see a problem with this?
Rock star: Nope.
Religious person: Well what about all the dancing!? They will be groping each others and moving their... butts! On each other!
Rock star: Sounds like a party, where is this going down?
Religious person: Well I can't believe people are looking up to you these days! People are starting to loose interest in Jesus and you are at fault... and where did you get that guitar!?
Rock star: You know what you need man!? A NARLY GUITAR SOLO! *Guitar!*
Religious person: Oh wow... that's pretty awesome. Alright he can go.
That's what should happen... I think...
-Nick
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Clearance Bin Video Game Review: John Woo presents Stranglehold
Title: John Woo presents StrangleholdSystem: Xbox 360 (Also available for PS3)
Rating: M
Paid: I borrowed this game, but you can get it for $10
Story: I was at my cousin's house and he said that I should check this game out. I never heard of it until he told me to try it out. He told me that there was some cool time slow mo mechanics involved. I enjoyed Max Payne back on the Xbox, so I thought that this game could be descent.
Review: John Woo the movie star becomes a video game character. This is actually a sequel to one of his movies. Can the man really slow down time? Sure he can! This game isn't Braid (awesome game, that everyone should try), but this is a shooter. You play a cop and when your wife and daughter get kid napped... John Woo is not a happy guy. It reminded me a lot of Max Payne and how that used slow motion. Max Payne was also about a cop and his wife and daughter. So there are actually a lot of comparisons about the two games.

The game mechanics are really cool in Stranglehold. This is a pretty easy game, which I enjoy. I tend to get angry with hard games and end up giving up to easily. Keep that in mind, when you think about this game. The weapons used in this game are pretty basic. You got pistols, shotguns, snipers, and so on. There are also special moves you can preform, by pressing a direction on the D-Pad. My personal favorite is this move where he spins in a circle and kills everyone in the room. It just shows him in this slow mo video shooting like crazy (mind you that this doesn't take any ammo and you can't get hurt while doing this) and you see all these bad guys getting shot. Check the video below for examples.
I am not promising that you will love the game, because there are parts that become repetitive, but it is pretty good if you're looking for something easy and short. I beat the game in about six or eight hours, and that usually says something when I do it. I've only beat two games so far this year, not counting Peggle. So I think it's worth a renting or even spending the $10 to add it to your collection.
-Nick
Monday, May 4, 2009
Ammo is hard to find
Lets face it, it's not because of Obama that people are buying ammunition! It's for a more obvious reason! CNN won't admit it, but the real reason is because of Zombies. Yes Zombies. The news has been tricky the past weeks. What does Pirates + Swine Flu + ammunition shopping spree equal? There is an outbreak of zombies coming from the ground. So what should we do about these zombies? I asked Shawn (Blogger/Zombie expert) on zombies.
Nick: So Shawn, how do I know you are in fact not a zombie?
Shawn: Well there are several qualities that differentiate between me and the walking dead. With myself, you may notice a definite lack of decomposer, blood splatter from where I was bitten, or from my mouth where I had been biting, and I can bust a move when given a beat, which unless you're Michael Jackson, no Zombie has ever accomplished before or since.
Nick: I know in movies, zombies are mean, but are they in real life? I know of the Swine Flu, but wouldn't there be a more powerful attack the zombies could be preparing?
Shawn: Very deep question there Nick. Not all Zombies are intrinsically cruel and sadistic. Like any creed or culture, all of them have their extremists, and the manner in which zombies are portrayed in most film today show a definite misunderstanding of the culture at large, segueing into an illogical fear. But you may have stumbled upon a fascinating cover-up. These Zombie extremists may have unleashed the Swine Flu upon the planet, seeing as how the illness would be completely ineffective to the walking dead. We can only hope that they have not yet been introduced to another weapon of mass destruction of which the majority of the world is not prepared for, that being the Africanized killer bees.
Nick: How should a normal non redneck like myself prepare for such a zombie attack?
Shawn: Guns. Anything that will penetrate will do, but a bullet is small, easy to disperse and often comes in boxes. Because zombies have their nervous systems destroyed upon their first death, they feel no pain and are running only by a phenomenally working heart and brain. The heart continues to pump the blood throughout the body giving it movement, and the brain keeps the zombie eternally awake. Shooting the zombie in the heart will put it down probably for good but it will continue to live until the brain fails or is destroyed.
Nick: What about bomb shelters? Should we take the time to prepare one or would it be a waste of time?
Shawn: A bomb shelter is ideal, but not completely necessary. Zombies can do structural damage to a house by acting as kamikazes on the walls and windows (goes back to them feeling no pain) so the last thing you want is to have your back up against a wall only to have some corpsy hands burst through behind you. So if not a bomb shelter, you’ll want something with thick, solid walls. Steel and concrete if possible, so start brushing up on your architecture now.
Nick: Last question, if a human impregnated a zombie. Would the zombie baby be a zombie or a human?
Shawn: This question could recreate the entire religious debate of when does life begin. Technically, if a human male impregnates a female zombie (which is the only way it can happen, as a male zombie would likely just try to eat a human female is presented before him) then it would be human in its early stages. However, because the female zombie isn’t consuming any real food that can be passed on to the child, it would die within the womb and come out stillborn, not regenerating back to life. So you could argue that it’s a dead human, or a zombie that was just never given life in my opinion.
Nick: That's all the time we have for today, thank you for your tips.
*By reading this you swear not to take the whole zombie thing seriously and can not sue us if there are no zombie attacks. If there are zombie attacks... should of listened to us.
-Nick