Southland Tales

poster from slashfilm.com

Premise:
Texas is hit with a terrorist nuke which starts up World War III, despite no mention of any other country in the world except for America and some middle eastern, potentially terrorist harboring countries. America is rocked to it's very foundation by the attack and a government upheaval takes place. Those dirty, dirty republicans, lead by George Bush who your shown clips of from actual speeches, a handful of fictional senators and a mad scientist who found an alternative source of energy so America need no longer rely on foreign oil take the reins and turn America into the dreaded tyrannical Big Brother dystopia. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson plays action-film star, Boxer Santeros who wakes up in the desert with amnesia, which is easy to guess right off the bat that he knew something he wasn't supposed to, but is taken in by the very quirky ex-porn star, Krysta Now, played by Sarah Michelle Gellar.


Standouts:
An epic cast featuring everybody and their mother. No joke. See if you recognize any of these names: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Seann William Scott, Mandy Moore, Justin Timberlake, Nora Dunn, Jon Lovitz, Wallace Shawn, Kevin Smith, Bai Ling, Cheri Oteri, Amy Poehler, and Will Sasso. A real standout among this all-star team is Sarah Michelle Gellar, who easily has some of the most entertaining pieces of the film. She's not one of those regretful ex-pornstars, oh no. She goes on and on about the joys of sex in some class A dirty dialog.

Opposing that, when Justin Timberlake's character isn't narrating through bible verses, his voice doesn't have the impact needed to explain what's going on. Seann William Scott's character is meant to appear on the fence of psychotic through the film, but really has trouble pulling it off without the occasional special effect. And while I love The Rock, his character was one of the most convoluted and messily written I've ever seen. He's in the neighborhood of 6'5" and weighs two and a quarter, so why they made him a neurotic, anxiety-ridden, self-proclaimed "pimp" with no real action scenes is beyond me.


My Highlight:
A toss-up between Sarah Michelle Gellar's dirty talk and Justin Timberlake's completely out-of-nowhere music video to The Killer's "All These Things That I've Done" while high.






Overall Rating:
1* out of 5. It had a great budget and an all star cast, but it didn't know where it was going or where it was coming from. The political agenda is a thick smog choking you while you're trying to find entertainment in the dark comedy. Granted, while the funny parts are hilarious, none of the serious parts are the least bit believable in its writing or directing. And I say this having loved Donnie Darko (the same writer/director of this movie) which was also very mashed up, but this is utterly ridiculous. AND HOLY KERMIT THE FROG IS IT LONG! 144 minutes - practically two and a half drudging hours.


When You Should See It:
After receiving a lobotomy so you have some noise in the room while you color with a three-pack of crayons. But for confirmation of how bad this is, you can catch it on Netflix: Instant Watch like I did. Let's see how long you last watching it.

Free Game: Big Kahuna Reef

Amazon is giving away Big Kahuna Reef for free. So I thought I would give a short review.



It's a puzzle game just like bejeweled. The matching 3 of the same object is the same, but the playing board itself is different. In the picture you can see that there are two different types of backgrounds. One is a plank of wood and the other is water. If you get a three combo on the boards they will turn into water. The point is to get all the boards into water to complete the level. As you complete levels you can unlock fish to swim behind the board (not as great as achievement points, but it's something).

I'm really enjoying this game a lot and think you should give it a shot. Hey it's free! You do have to download the Amazon game downloader to download this game, which sucks that you can't just download the game straight to your computer, but I guess they do this so people can't pirate the game... pirate a free game.

Link to game download

-Nick

Flash Games

Game: Super Mario 63
The game looks and feels great. It takes place in the same setting as Mario 64, but also has new gadgets from the newer Mario games (like the star launcher and the water jet pack). There is a lot of game play in this flash game and the great news is that you can save your progress and come back to it. This will have to do for us until that Mario 4 player game for the Wii and Super Mario Galaxy 2 comes out.


Game: Bango
A platformer and a puzzle game combined to make Bango. You play as this little guy named Bango. Your objective is to get rid of all the blocks in each area. To do this all you have to do is touch the brick platform and jump off. This game gets pretty difficult the more you get into it. Don't give up yet though! If you click the menu you can go to a walkthrough that will help you out with the levels you are having trouble with.



That should give you something to do while you're bored at work or at home.

-Nick

Yard Sale Search

The beginning of Summer means the beginning of yard sales. Sometimes you can strike gold and sometimes you strike nothing. I have been checking yard sales though, because you can find something that can be worth lots and pay a dollar for. I went to a couple of yard sales two weeks ago and didn't find much. The only thing I found was a DS game for $5 and I passed on it.

This weekend my neighbors two houses down from me had a yard sale. I walked over and checked the joint out, hoping to find a NES I found a table with video games. No NES here, but I ended up with three games total.


The games were Space Quest V, Sim City Classic, and Sim Tower. These were in the original box and with directions for a dollar each game. I'm guessing most of you have played the Sim City Games? Space Quest 5 was cult classic type game that I loved as a kid. I checked Ebay on each of the games after buying them and turns out two are selling for $20 and one is selling for $10. I knew these games would not work on my computer (no CD here, it's floppy disk for you!). I'm sure my neighbors knew that too, but I didn't tell them that they could get much more for it on the internet.

Being the collector I am, I can only hope these are worth more in the future. Goes to show that you might find some cool stuff at a yard sale... or some crap.

-Nick

Max Payne Film Review

The Premise:
Max Payne (played by Mark Wahlberg) is a burned out cop, tired of the strict set of rules he must follow that confine him. Payne seeks his own vigilante form of justice in hopes of redeeming, or finding answers to who killed his wife and child. Payne's path to answers is marred and twisted by a wide array of suspicious, insidious, and amoral characters associated with a drug ring. These aren't your run of the mill drugs. Overdose and frightening hallucination of demonic looking angels known as Valkyries play a big part in the film.


The Standouts:
Mila Kunis does a great job portraying Mona Sax, the femme fatal of the film, Mark Wahlberg plays the cocky yet stoic and dark character like he was born into it, and Ludacris does well playing a gangster black guy who's been tamed and made civil and white. Other than that, some pretty shoddy acting all around.

Hallucinations played too much of a part in the film, drawing away from the actual plot. A very choppy story - some parts are too fast, some parts are too slow. The things you need an explanation for take far too long to be explained. I had the wiki page up while watching because it was irritatingly hard to follow. Oh and the "main antagonist" = Crap villain, that there wasn't nearly enough time devoted to. And the ending definitely stands out for being crap.


My Highlight:
Mila Kunis (presumably it was her) kicking Mark Wahlberg's butt: great utilization of 'implied violence' through flashes to a red-screen anytime there was impact. "Bullet Time" in one of the final fight scenes with the shotgun vs. the rifle. Also, Max Payne's rampage at the end. A rampage is a great way to build up any movie.


Overall Rating:
2 1/2*'s out of 5. A lot of poor acting, and a TON of bewilderment. You'll likely have no idea what's going on. A very mediocre film, that I could only raise to the bar of mediocre based off of occasional moments of entertainment.


When You Should See It:
Don't waste your money on it. Don't even waste a Netflix/Blockbuster queue spot on it if you've got plenty of films you know you'd rather see. If someone you know has it, or it comes on the Free Movies On Demand section of Netflix or Comcast or whatever, feel free to check it out, as maybe you'll get something out of it, otherwise don't bother. As a thank you for reading this review about a terrible movie, here's the awesomeness of Mark Wahlberg on SNL, courtesy of Hulu

Product Review: Stamps.com

I received in the mail a trial for this program called Stamps.com. On the little post card trial information it told me about signing up for the free month comes with: Free scale, $20 in postage, and a $25 Amazon gift card. I happen to go to the post office a couple times a month to ship stuff, so I thought I would give the trial a shot.

Free scale: Free + $10 shipping, only works with this program. So if you're going to cancel don't bother with the scale.

$20 in postage: I did receive postage in the mail with some address labels.

$25 Amazon gift card: You don't get this till you actually start paying for Stamps.com. If you cancel during your trial period, you will not get the gift card.

Some of the things on the post card was misleading, but I must say that the program is pretty useful for shipping items. If you have a career at Ebay or selling on Amazon then this program is actually worth checking out. If you're like me and only ship a couple of packages a month, then skip over this promotion.

To cancel your membership there's no website to go to. You have to call their number and be on hold for a little bit. The man on the other side will try and get you to stay like offering another trial month. So if you are intending to keep the program, give them a call and ask for another trial month, it could work out for you.

So I hope this review helps you out when you receive the Stamps.com post card.

-Nick

Fanboys

The Premise:
The year is 1998, and friends: Eric, Linus, Hutch and Windows (with female heroine Zoe) are faced with the cold grip of mortality when it's discovered Linus has Cancer. In order to share the one great moment they can all look back fondly on, the Star Wars mega-nerds decide to break into Sky Walker Ranch and steal the rough cut of the upcoming Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. Things are never as easy as they look on paper though, and the group must venture halfway across the country, meeting other oddballs and oddities to gather info on how to plan appropriately.





The Standouts:
The epic cameos. You have to be a nerdy fanboy of cinema to get the cameos, but man, will you ever explode with glee. Even if you hate the movie, you'll remember the cameos. Without ruining what any of them do, you'll be able to catch Seth Rogen, Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes, William Shatner, and a handful of the original Star Wars trilogy cast along with others.


My Highlight:
Windows meeting up with his sole mate, Seth Rogen's love for Jar Jar Binks before even seeing the movie he stars in, and Eric's final line of the film.


Overall Rating:
It wasn't a perfect movie, as a lot of the main characters could have used some more detailed character development. I was especially critical of the romantic relationship that embarks toward the second half of the film, as I felt it sprung up out of nowhere. However, the sheer nerd in me is going to be really generous for this cult film and give it 4 *'s out of 5.

When You Should See It:

Well it was released in theaters in February of 2009, and the DVD was released May 19, 2009, the ten year anniversary of the release of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, so you've already missed the boat on being relevant, so there's no real rush. However, it's a great find, very underrated and unknown; a legit cult classic. So at some point, be it a week after reading this, a month, or two months, make sure you see this movie. See it for the children. See it... for America.

The Dislike of Guitar Hero

Jimmy Page happens to be one of my favorite guitarists around. That doesn't mean I will agree with him on everything he says though. I was in the car listening to the radio and the radio host talked about this story. So I looked it up and got the full information.

Jack White (The White Stripes) and Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin) both came out and talked about how they dislike the Guitar Hero series. To quote the article, "Page added that he can't imagine that people are really learning anything significant about playing instruments by playing video games."

I have to disagree with what he just said. Sure you can't learn how to play guitar by just playing these games. Vocals and drums from Rock Band might help you a little, but it's more of the influence that makes you want to learn. I used to play guitar as a kid but stopped playing, then Guitar Hero came out and I spent much of the next year playing that. I then decided to pick up the real guitar and play again. Now I have new influences from bands that appeared in Guitar Hero and Rock Band. I even went out and looked around for other artists like Led Zeppelin and The White Stripes. Also my brother started playing the Keyboard and that instrument isn't even in Guitar Hero or Rock Band, but he was influenced by the bands in Guitar Hero and Rock Band.

I also did a little research and according to Times Online more and more kids beginning to pick up real instruments to play.

I'm still a big fan of Page and White, but sometimes you gotta disagree with your idols.

-Nick

Zombie Culture

In my spare time, I do a lot of fiction writing, particularly works of horror, psychological thrillers and such. My subgenres range everything from A-Z but recently I've become infatuated with Zombies. This is likely because when I'm not writing, I'm watching movies, and in the past few years the walking dead have stalked their way through American cinema like a glorious plague. If I had been talking about this movement a year ago, I would have left out the glorious part, but currently own the Resident Evil film Trilogy, Planet Terror, plan on buying the 28 (Days/Weeks) Later films along with Shaun of the Dead, and own the audiobooks, World War Z and Stephen King's Cell. I didn't understand how addictive the topic was until I looked through my collection, but had to do some soul searching. Zombie works always struck me as very formulated stories so I had to figure out why I loved them. This is a list of why it seems to me that Zombies are all the rage right now:


5) Guaranteed Gore! The premise of any zombie story is how frightening how quickly anyone you know could become insanely violent and cannibalistic. Depending on the rating, maybe the gore will be implied, or maybe you'll watch something downright gut-wrenching occur before your eyes. Surprisingly, even if you go back to the 1968 Night of the Living Dead you'll get a real treat for the mind: though the production delivery falls through, the implied image of a small girl eating the intestines of her father is quite haunting.

4) The Hopeless Apocalypse Hook. It worked for Independence Day, Terminator 2 + 3, The Day After Tomorrow, Armageddon, and Knowing, and will likely work quite well for the upcoming movie 2012. What I think of 2012 could fill its own blog, but I'll save that for another time. The point is - when the glove comes off and rules no matter apply, who will do what they need to in order to survive? And with a rapidly spreading infection (or whatever you want to call it) Zombie Apocalypse is always imminent and unstoppable.

3) Life After Death. For the same reason we strive to believe in ghosts, or even vampires, hopes that there's something after the grave will always draw us in. The twist with Zombie fiction, is that while you can retain at least the majority of yourself if you come back as a ghost or vampire, coming back as a zombie means you're only back in physical form. Mentally, you're gonzo.

2) It Could Really Happen. It probably sounds like people are just reaching for straws by comparing to video games and movies for scientific phenomena that could potentially bring to life the walking dead. Cracked.com did a great article on it in fact, found here.

1) No Morals Required. As mentioned in #3, if a loved one comes back from the dead as a zombie, their not really themselves. They're a mindless, sociopathic, cannibilistic killing machine! You HAVE to kill them in order to save yourselves and others. This is greatly in contrast to fictional instances where you're forced to kill aliens, soldiers fighting you in a war, or fearsome beasts, as those have feelings, motives, maybe families even. Kill away.

And on a closing note to show just how infused Zombies are in popular culture, here's the next big Zombie flick coming out. A comedy called Zombieland.

John Hodgman roasts Obama

Quick post today, but a nerdy post as well. John Hodgman gets to roast Obama, and gets to ask him about his nerdy ways.



-Nick

Video Game Review: Moon

Title: Moon
System: Nintendo DS
Rating: T
Before I started playing: I was iffy about the potential of a shooter on the DS, but I gave it a shot.
Review: The game obviously takes place on the Moon. As a man stuck on the Moon, all your friends have been kidnapped and/or killed. So the story is that you need to find the cause of this and destroy it.

You play the game by using the stylus to aim your gun, directional pad to move around and the L button to shoot. My fingers did get a little uncomfortable after playing this for an hour, so I took a little break. No complaints there because most DS and other handheld games are like this.

Image from www.amazon.com
I did end up enjoying this game even starting with the attitude of "Shooter on the DS... might be good, but might be bad." It did get a little boring near the end, because the game is basically the same thing during the entire game. There were three types of gameplay in this game. The first being the human. The second was your little robot pal in which you controlled this little robot into fitting into small places and opening doors for you. The third being driving a Moon car to get to different points on the map.

If this game was much longer, I don't think I could have kept playing throughout the entire thing. It was short and sweet and I did enjoy it for what it offered. It does offer bonus levels which you obtain by collecting three alien artifacts during a level, so there is replay value to this game.

Final Say: I think this should be a rent, but a $20 price tag isn't too bad of a price.

Pixar

I was going to post a story about how a woman is getting fined $1.9 million for illegally downloading 24 songs. More heart than the RIAA, that will save me from writing about the case by creating an equally interesting story

This starts with a little girl named Colby Curtin who was diagnosed with vascular cancer. She found out not to long ago that she doesn't have much time to live anymore. She saw this trailer for the new Pixar movie called Up and wanted to see this movie more than anything. She became to ill when the movie came out to be able to go to the theater and see the movie.

Friends and family called up Pixar and just like a super hero Pixar granted her dying wish. Pixar flew someone over to the hospital with a DVD copy of the movie Up and gave Colby a private showing. Colby then died 7 hours after watching the movie.

For the full article click here.

For information on the woman getting fined, go here.

-Nick

The Lonely Island - Incredibad

Album art from Amazon.com

Don't know who The Lonely Island is? You must not be a fan of Saturday Night Live these last few years. Star of the hilarious and underrated movie Hot Rod, a character of importance in I Love You Man, and mainstay of SNL, Andy Samberg has been teaming up with his buddies Akiva Schaffer and co-star of Hot Rod, Jorma Taccone to form a comedic musical trio, often performing music videos dubbed "Digital Shorts" for SNL. So what do you do when you're possibly the next Beastie Boys? You produce an album, and that's just what The Lonely Island did on February 10, 2009. Here's the rundown on Incredibad, with multiple clickable video links in the track titles (warning: not suitable for work):

1) “Who Said We're Wack” – I get the joke: an over-exaggeration over parody of a diss, but the beat is just painful. The vocals especially are irritatingly high pitched. Not an awful song, but pretty mediocre. 2 ½ *’s.

2) “Santana DVX” – One of my favorite albums, satirically mashing together high class and downright gangsterisms. Lonely Island should also be commended for their versatility in rhyming Santana as often as they do. Of course this helps that I’m a big fan of Carlos Santana, so their continual promotion of the musician is very awesome, and rapper E-40’s over the top impersonation is just a step down from Dave Chappelle’s impression of Rick James. 5 *’s.

3) “Jizz In My Pants” – Ever acknowledge that you get too excited over something little? This is your anthem. It’s not about premature ejaculation, it’s about keeping it real! Hold no regrets, and if all else fails, blame it on someone else. The beat especially goes beyond groovy; it’s really dance-club worthy. 5 *’s.

4) “I’m On A Boat” – Never stops being funny, especially if you’ve seen the music video. T-Pain succeeds the music world and has become a worldly cult-icon. You’re going to bust out singing this at work, in the car, during sex; wherever, whenever. “I got my swim trunks, and my flippy floppies, I’m flipping burgers, you at Kinkos, straight flipping copies!” 5 *’s.

5) “Sax Man” – Jack Black can really bring some great situational comedy to the track, but music-wise, the song is a big fail. Most of the tracks on the album you can legitimately dance too, and laugh at, but this one only has the comedy. Sure, you’ve got the Tenacious D style Jack Black scat, but other than that, not a lot to hold this track above water. 2 *’s.

6) “Lazy Sunday” – Some will really like the beat but not the lyrics, whereas some will really like the lyrics but not the beat. Personally, I’m of the second category, but because the track apparently can’t have both, the track gets a poor 3 *’s.

7) “Normal Guy (Interlude)” – It’s always hard to rate skits, but I do have a definite opinion on this track. I thought it would have been perfect without the award show ending, but when that was tacked on, it dragged things down quite a bit. Otherwise, will have you cracking up. 3 *’s.

8) “Boombox” – An excellent chorus, both beat-wise and lyrically but none of the verses catch on. I’m all for hitting on all kinds of subjects, and can see the message behind being stuck at a lame retirement center in the height of your youth, but singing a song about boredom doesn’t bare much fruit. 3 *’s.

9) “Shrooms (Interlude)” – Goes over my head. Annoying, unpleasant to the ears; maybe that’s the point? I don’t know, but I don’t’ think I should have to do guess-work. 1 ½ *s, with the extra half only earned for its childish singing toward the end.

10) “Like A Boss” – Catchy, funny, danceable, this track has it all. There isn’t even much else I can say about this track, because it’s such a high standard of comedic music. 5 *’s.

11) “We Like Sportz” – Much like Boombox, some will like the lyrics, some will like the techno music, but in my opinion, the lack of Andy Samberg’s vocals drastically hurts the track. I really don’t like the beat either, but the lyrics are pretty funny. 3 *’s.

12) “Dreamgirl” – Unlike my past criticisms, I actually love the music of this track much more than the lyrics. Again, it’s one of those tracks that could be the other way with some people, but Norah Jones really brings a soulful RnB feel to it. The chorus is so hypnotic that I’m almost saddened it was wasted on a comedy album. 3 ½ *’s.

13) “Ras Trent” – Really hated this song until I saw the music video, which, because I had to see the music video, brings its level down to mediocre. A generous 3 *’s because the lyrics can be really creative at points.

14) “Dick in a Box” – Maybe Andy Samberg is no singer like Justin Timberlake is, but Justin Timberlake is downright hysterical in this track. The story of the song is equally as funny, and the beat will have you moving and grooving. 5 *’s.

15) “The Old Saloon” – again, a joke that completely goes over my head. Mixing annoyance with comedy, and with a downright unrelatable and uninteresting old saloon ‘beat’, if one could call it that = easily the worst track on the album. 1*.

16) “Punch You in the Jeans” – Overly simplistic beat for a track that really needed some strong music to carry it’s only mediocre lyrics. The whole song is based off of one joke, which you could probably figure out yourself, and gets tired after thirty seconds. 1 ½ *’s.

17) “Space Olympics” – A great song on paper, with hilarious jokes and a amazingly funny story. Someone even provided Eiffel 65 level pop-techno level music that would have made this track a hit, except that Andy Samberg doesn’t seem to understand how to sing this kind of music. Unlike his style of rap, Samberg’s emphasized pronunciation of every syllable really makes it painful to the ears. 2 ½ *’s.

18) “Natalie’s Rap” – Right beside my favorite track, “Santana DVX” is this song. Natalie Portman, overly explicit to the point that you’re a little afraid of her. The whole premise along with delivery is gut-busting funny. 5 *’s.

19) “Incredibad” - Irritating beat, irritating vocal work by The Lonely Island, but head-exploding funny. Apparently the three virgin members of The Lonely Island have a gang bang with an extraterrestrial, who need their seed to take back to his home planet. And then at the end, for some reason, the alien is kind of a genie, granting The Lonely Island a fantastic album. 3 ½ *’s for the perfect album closer.


My Highlights: Oh man, there are so many. “Natalie’s Rap”, “Santana DVX”, “Dick in a Box”, “Like a Boss”, “I’m on a Boat”, and “Jizz In My Pants” are all classics. Youtube them. Hulu them. Download them if you’re a cheapskate and don’t want to buy the whole album to show your support for how awesome these freaking guys are.


Overall Rating: 3 ½ *’s. Overall, when The Lonely Island hit, they hit harder than anyone, but when they miss, they’ll of missed by a mile. In some areas things just don’t transition from visual to audio, and the music video is what makes the song. Definitely worth buying though, and if only a few of the lesser quality songs were cut, this rating would be much higher. I guess you could say that about most albums, but come on, this has 19 tracks, so you see what I mean.

Weird Al's on Craig to da List

Weird Al has released a new song/music video called Craigslist. It has the style of The Doors which I thought would be great, but I'm not really digging this song. I'm a very big Weird Al fan and one meh song won't stop me from buying his albums. I just hope his next album that comes out isn't full of meh songs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R32aFmxL9HY

I still urge you to check out the song, because you might have a different opinion about the song than me. It's 4:51 long so just have it play in the background if you must.

-Nick

CHICKENFOOT!

Album art from Amazon.com

Holy Super Group Batman! Singer, Sammy Hagar, and bassist, Michael Anthongy, both of Van Halen fame, plus the drummer of Red Hot Chili Peppers, Chad Smith, and finally world famous guitarist with a resume longer than my… well, it’s long, Joe Satriani. What do you call a group with such raw rocking power? What did they look to for inspiration for a name? Guns N’ Roses? Led Zeppelin? Well, they came up with Chickenfoot. … Yeah. Well, what’s in a name anyways? Chickenfoot released their first album June 9, 2009 and thanks to www.lala.com, I was able to stream the entire album for review.

1) “Avenida Revolution” Certainly not what I was expecting for my first impression of a band made so profoundly of glam rockers. It’s dark, it’s edgy, it’s almost Black Sabbath in its roots. The only thing missing is a catchy or memorable chorus that hits on some kind of bell. A great opener to the album and has frankly left me thirsty for more Chickenfoot. 4 1/2*’s.

2) “Soap On A Rope” very glam rock and what I was initially expecting. Feels very much like Aerosmith. I’m beginning to think while Hagar’s got a great rock voice, he’s going to have issue finding a vocal styling that will make people remember a song, or sing along. He seems very fitted for backup vocals really. Still, downright amazing song, and Satriani is Godly with the axe. 4 *’s.

3) “Sexy Little Thing” Ouch. I was thinking after listening to the first two tracks that the only thing that could sour this album is a poorly performed rock ballad, or a rock song overly simplistic and primitive for the talent available, but this made me think twice. While not an awful song, a complete change in styling’s. Taking a little bit from Van Halen, and a little bit from Aerosmith, somehow you get a lounge lizard, perform-after-you’ve-faded-out-of-relevance kind of song. It’s saving grace is actually Hagar’s vocals which find their home and give you something to sing along with. When he belts out “Love, love, love that sexy little thing” you headbang to the point of whiplash. 3 ½ *’s.

4) “Oh Yeah” The group’s single which has been receiving some fair radio play, and rightfully so. Hagar’s voice is still a bit bothersome in that it doesn’t hit hard enough in areas, but it’s got the emphasis on what you should love and it’s got a sick contribution from guitar, bass and drum. So far, everything on this album sounds like a flippin’ Best Of. 5 *’s!

5) “Runnin’ Out” Leaning on the merit it’s earned with the previous tracks, we get a little experimental with some serious blues riff. Even the lyrics are straight-up blues and in all the best ways. 4 *’s, baby!

6) “Get It Up” Going full-circle, we’re back to the dark side; an underworldly metal sound that you feel sacrilegious to listen to, but can still understand. It brings a tear to the eye, really. 5 *’s! Batting a thousand, Chickenfoot!

7) “Down The Drain” Surprisingly forgettable. Nothing that stands out about the lyrics, and while the guitar solo is impressive, by now it’s falling on deaf ears. And it’s needlessly long as well. 2 *’s. Too bad, so sad.

8) “My Kind Of Girl” We get a little bit of Aerosmith, a little bit of Van Halen, and a little bit of… honky tonk? This may play well during the live shows, especially those in some dive bars on the juke box… if people still use juke boxes. I know I would. They're awesome, as proven by Fonzie. Slightly better than “Down The Drain” but still nothing all that great. They should probably stick to the overtly sexual themes rather than any kind of sentimentality. 3 *’s.

9) “Learning To Fall” Here’s the slow, arena-rock, soft rock ballad that I was expecting all along. Surprisingly, it doesn’t fall too hard on its’ head and could actually have potential. On first listen, it may not be “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn” but there’s a strong replay value to it. 4 *’s.

10) “Turnin’ Left” Chickenfoot likes their apostrophes. They're too good to end words with their final letter! Some inspiring drum work with the typical excellent guitar work, and the bass isn’t bad either. There’s a little bit of blues in this track again, but Hagar’s vocals seem undecided on the tone of the song. 3 *’s.

11) “Future Is The Past” A strong message and some decent vocals, but feeling somewhat lacking in the music areas. Drumming reminds me of rathole bar/lounge lizard style again. The guitaring takes forever to gain momentum, but oddly teeters on some reminiscence of The Doors. Maybe not the best song to end with, even if the lyrics to state “I’m going to save the best for last”, as it has a tendency to drag on. The lyrics really do act as a crutch for this track though, so I’ll give it 3 *’s.

My Highlights: “Get It Up”, “Avenida Revolution” and the band’s first single, “Oh Yeah”. It’s metal, it’s rock, it’s suitable from all genre points. This band has a big possibility of blowing up huge if they can put their personal ego’s aside (which I’m only assuming they have for being big separately in the past)

Overall Rating: 3 ¾ *’s, the highest rating I’ve ever given an album review! This is a must-buy. I typically don’t suggest blowing away your hard earned cash on anything lower than a 3 * album, but this is practically 4 *! Even most best-of’s I hear have songs that I’d prefer had been left off, so this may be the closest you ever see to feeling like you own a five star album.

Rock Band and Guitar Hero

I have never seen a video game series like the Rock Band or Guitar Hero series. Both sides are putting out a couple of games per year, plus they have new downloadable songs every week. With all these games coming out you can tell that maybe the people making these games are interested in making some money? Who knows though, because maybe it costs a lot to sign bands into getting their music into the game. Well I had the pleasure to play Guitar Hero: Metallica and Rock Band: Unplugged. Both games are the first games released for the series for the year of 2009.

Guitar Hero: Metallica on the Xbox 360
Thoughts: I must say I am a fan of Metallica and I really enjoyed this game. The game wasn't very frustrating like I thought it would be. Unlike previous Guitar Hero Games, the Metallica one doesn't make you complete every song in your path to move ahead in the game. I'm thankful for this because there are many songs in this game that are way to hard for me to beat. This game included all four instruments too, so there is a lot of variety.
Songs: The playlist is great for Metallica fans. The playlist is either a hit or a miss. So if you're a Metallica fan it's great, if you dislike Metallica it's not so great. There isn't only Metallica songs, there is also Queen, Motorhead, Foo Fighters, Thin Lizzy, and Slayer just to name a few. Check out Wikipedia for the whole playlist.
Worth picking up?: This is a yes and no answer. Metallica fans = Yes. People who dislike Metallica = No. This is basically a game you know if you will like or not.

Rock Band: Unplugged on the PSP
Thoughts: Here is a new way of playing the Rock Band series. Amplitude and Frequency is the best way to describe it, but if you don't know of them here is the description. You play all four instruments at the same time by switching back to each of the instruments. When you go to one of the instruments it will give you some buttons to hit (just like in Rock Band) if you hit all the buttons, then the instrument will play by itself for a little bit, giving you time to switch to another instrument. If you don't hit all the buttons in the segment then you have to start another segment. I enjoyed this game very much and it's great on the go.
Songs: Check out Wikipedia for the full list. With 41 songs plus downloadable content you can't go wrong. Sadly most of the songs are on Rock Band 1 or 2, which I have played over and over again. This is my biggest complaint, because I am so sick of playing My Own Worst Enemy by Lit. There are a couple of new songs that haven't been on Rock Band 1 or 2 (Hint: 123 ABC).
Worth Picking Up?: I would say yes to picking it up. It's a great game to dust your PSP off with. It's a fun game to play when you're not able to reach your Rock Band instruments at home.

So there you have it, Guitar Hero and Rock Band might be selling tons of games, but when you look at it. The games are still fun to play. I give it another year before we are all very sick of the two game series.

-Nick

Pancakes for you!

Do you like Denny's? Yes? Of course you do! College Humor is having a contest to win a $100 gift card to Denny's.

http://www.collegehumor.com/dennysallnighter

Go sign up, and share the pancake love.

Just a short post today, but you can expect more later on.

-Nick

Paul Blart vs. Observe and Report

This year has been one of a select few in my lifetime that saw two films hit cinemas in a short span of time with a very similar premise. January 16, 2009, Paul Blart: Mall Cop staring Kevin James hit the cinemas and was the first big theatrical hit of the year. Only a few months later, April 10, 2009 saw the theatrical debut of Observe and Report starring Seth Rogen. Both films on the surface were very identical – a comedy about an overzealous Mall Cop who takes his job too seriously, and who’d like a girl that isn’t particularly interested in him. Being so interesting a case, I decided to see both films. (Click titles to watch trailers. Posters credited to Fandango.com)

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

A quirky comedy produced by Adam Sandler under Happy Madison studios, so naturally, not a lot of deep, thought provoking, subtle humor. Instead, you get a lot of ridiculous, over the top action-comedy and violence-driven humor. The bad guys are, for all intents and purposes, parkour loving, skateboard riding ‘thugs’, or very potentially un-stealthy ninjas. Things are kept cute though under the PG rating, and the revealing of the antagonist of this film was a real emotion grabber. I’m trying to be unbiased with this, because there are PG films out there that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed as an adult, such as last year’s hit, Horton Hears A Who. I’d love to see Horton Hears A Who again, and plan on eventually purchasing it on DVD. Paul Blart, not so much. And that’s a shame, because I love Kevin James. The kids in the theater seemed to be enjoying the film, but it seems like an easily forgettable movie for them, soon to be replaced with the latest Transformers, Up, or Toy Story 3. I’d give it 2 1/2 *’s out of 5.

Observe and Report

A dark comedy, directed by Jody Hill, a relative newcomer to big, theater-hitting films, and produced by Legendary Pictures, known for producing the mega movies in the last few years based on DC Comics, such as Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, Superman Returns, 300 and Watchmen. This film relied on a lot of shock comedy and gross-outs to garner sentimentality, but doesn’t reach the peak with this genre that Borat did. I thought I would feel a bit more at home in the theater with my mature surrounding company than the dozens of kids and parents that were at Paul Blart, but I heard one guy, roughly my age, interject his opinion during an old preview for Crank 2 that Crank 1 was the better movie. Upon that note, I knew I was an outsider in this theater as well. Observe and Report does have some great scenes in it, but as someone profoundly interested in psychological thrillers and psychology in general, I have to cast my criticism either on the Jody Hill or on Seth Rogen, as I couldn’t truly buy into Rogen baring a mental illness (this isn’t much of a spoiler note, don’t worry). While I don’t regret going to see the movie, nor did I feel that my time was wasted by watching it, it’s just not something I’d shell out the money to buy, thus earning itself a 3 *’s out of 5.

There’s one huge difference in my eyes that really separate the two films, and that is the MPAA rating. The PG Rating for Paul Blart: Mall Cop and the R rating for Observe and Report really marketed toward the farthest extremes of the spectrum. Blart came off too cartoonish at points, hitting some of the same lows that the Home Alone franchise hit post Home Alone 2, whereas Observe wanted to just push the envelope as far as possible. If I had to pick which one to see out of the two, I’d go with Observe and Report, not so much because it’s the better suited movie for me, but by a small margin it was the better rounded movie, dedicating more time to character distinction and dimension.