Mar 30, 2010

Jersey getting taxed

A new tax has gone to New Jersey called a tanning salon tax. Probably to cash in on MTV's Jersey Shore. People are angry... very angry... tan people are. Though I'm pretty pale, I feel bad for these people wanting to get tans. This is why I decided that I'm going to help you dodge these tanning taxes. Follow my steps and you will be tan, without the tax! Did I mention it's legal?

1. Walk - Simply walk outside.
2. Chair - Find a chair to sit in. '1'
3. Destination - Look for the sun, and stay away from shady places like trees. '2'
4. Relax - Place chair in the sunny spot, take some clothing off, and sit. '3'
5. Tan - Are you sitting in the sun? Yes? You are officially tanning without paying a tanning tax!

Optional: Apply tanning oil.

'1' - Laying on a blanket also works.
'2' - Is it raining? Uh... shut up and pay the tanning tax.
'3' - Make sure you're in a private area (or beach) and not a church, school, or town hall. If you're not, you're breaking the legal agreement I made with you.

Next week learn how to dodge the soda tax, by drinking water!

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