The Presidential Seal

According to Sci-Fi Wire, Seth Grahame-Smith will soon be releasing his second big parody of a historical book. A spin-off of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Grahame-Smith will be releasing Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter! Knowing that actions speak louder than words, Grahame-Smith threw together a fantastic trailer that I supremely wish was an actual movie.






This has jogged our creative juices and made us hopeful for a sort of X-Men/Avengers collaboration of the greatest presidents in their battle against a seemingly unstoppable evil! When the Russian, or Chinese government is overthrown by a rebel force from within that sets off a chain reaction of civil wars leaving the country in political and geographical rubble, a tyrant with a vendetta against the good ol' red white and blue holds control. They threaten to annihilate America piece by piece, and while we're losing one state at a time our top scientists pull out the big guns. We resurrect some of the greatest American leaders of all time! And here's the dirty little secret that only our scientists know - these leaders were born with supernatural abilities that gave them their success in the past, and now, will use them to save America from the brink of destruction once more! Presidents! Assemble!

Abraham Lincoln - the power of psychometry. He was born poor and taught himself everything, including how to fight. Lincoln has studied every martial art in the world, merely by means of physical contact with instruction books on the subject. Lincoln is undoubtedly one of the fiercest fighters our enemies have ever seen.

George Washington - the power of rage-enduced super strength. He doesn't grow into an eight foot tall green Hulk, but you still don't want to make him mad. He'll Headbutt your teeth through the back of your skull then use your broken body as a swinging mace.

Franklin D. Roosevelt - the power of hypnotism. A man bound to a wheelchair even in today's age of medicine, but he never needs to rise to his feet. His charisma is no special charm, it's magic. He'll Jedi Mind-Trick you into blowing yourself up if that's his whim.

Andrew Jackson - Nobody likes him, but he doesn't want to be liked. He wants to kill. He's a tough old bastard, but that's not his power, oh no. He moves at the speed of light. How do you shoot what you can't see!?

While this team is great, there's one final missing piece to the puzzle. That piece of the puzzle is actually in our enemy's hands! John F. Kennedy, disillusioned, disoriented, convinced he's doing what's right is Russia or China's ace in the hole. Until the end fight scene when the wool is pulled from off of his eyes and he helps dust off our foes. And when it's all said and done, and all the smoke has cleared... the dramatic cliff-hanger walk off into the sunset.