No Ordinary Family Review

First comes Modern Family, which was good at parts but couldn't keep me coming back. Now there's No Ordinary Family, which is about a family that has super powers after a weird accident. Lois is super strong, Brian is super fast, Stewie has telekinetic abilities... oh wait. Alright I could just complain that I've seen this on Family Guy, and they got it from something else, but I'm not going to. Even though that episode of Family Guy was basically the same plot of No Ordinary Family, and every super hero show/movie basically.

The show is an hour long, which I typically stay away from except for shows on Discovery, and Breaking Bad. I have a hard time keeping my eyes on the T.V. longer than 30 mins. Unfortunately, I don't have the common super power most people have - to watch 3 or more hours of T.V. at a time. Even though this show had a longer time frame than I was used to, I was intrigued with No Ordinary Family. The previews just caught my eye, and I knew I had to give it a chance.

While I was watching No Ordinary Family, I was glued to the screen. They didn't waste any time getting into a plane crash and them discovering their super powers. They did have cliche moments like the kids complaining about getting no attention, then the parents responding, "I'm sorry kids! I should have paid more attention to you!" Then the cliche kids say, "I don't want to talk, I want to be alone!" I was happy to see that the scenes of the husband going from catching baseballs with his barehands to catching bullets were longer than the family whining about they're social problems.

Final Say: It's only been one episode. My opinion could change, but I will be catching next week's new episode. Sure, No Ordinary Family wasn't all cool super hero stuff, but what do you expect? It's on ABC! I think it's in every ABC contract to have some kid whining about how hard high school is. At least it was way better than Dancing with the Stars.

2011 Rock N Roll Hall of Fame Nominees

A thank you to the credible Spin for delivering the nominees for the 2011 Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame. The official inductees will be announced in December, with the actual televised award ceremony taking place March 14, 2011. The following list of nominees will be in order of "boo! / what? / meh" to "yay! / overdue / awesome".

Laura Nyro

Darlene Love

Joe Tex

Tom Waits

Dr. John

Chic

Chuck Willis

Donna Summer

Donovan

The J. Geils Band

LL Cool J
I don't get why he's in the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame, but I do love the man's music.


Neil Diamond
Personally not my cup of tea, but plain to see why he's being inducted. Huge fanbase, millions of records sold, all qualities bands such as Rush who have not been inducted possess.


Bon Jovi
Always re-inventing themselves and topping charts no matter what style they're going for. Innovators. Motivators. And as awesome as Terminators.


Alice Cooper
This is actually the band Alice Cooper, not just the lead singer, which is really cool. One for all and all for one. Everyone should appreciate Cooper.


Beastie Boys
So many honorable mentions to songs I could have picked, but pretty defining in nerd culture becoming popular. Went with the most rock and roll song they've done not named "Sabotage", but if it was just the "Music Hall of Fame" I might have put on display "Intergalactic" or "Girls".

Bill and Ted 3 Confirmed

Alright we've talked about Bill and Ted 3, but now it's actually being confirmed! There isn't really much to say about it, but the news had to be told!

Also a quiet clip, but I never knew this until I found this. Primus the band was in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey.


For more interesting facts check this out.

Pandorum Review

image from Amazon

Premise:
In the future, Earth is overpopulated and under resourced, so they send out a really big number of people to a recently discovered inhabitable planet. Our main character, Corporal Bower (Ben Foster) awakes from hyper-sleep, and proceeds to awaken his superior, Lieutenant Payton (Dennis Quaid). Apparently a symptom of hyper-sleep is having your memory wiped - you don't know where you are, why you're there, and what's going on, but if you used to know it, it does slowly come back to you. But here's a curveball! Like... 90% of the power in the ship is out, and another... 5% or something of the remaining power is fluctuating. I'm making those percentages up, because sometimes there's lights on, sometimes there's no lights... but there's always air in the ship. Payton gets sent through the air-ducts to try to fix the problem but has a panic attack and winds up deeper in the ship than he remembers where it is. And there's space-monsters who look like Native Americans.


Standouts:
The chick was a babe. And the Mexican dude looked like he belonged in Assassin's Creed. But having a Mexican in the future still reduced to "agriculture" is just plain offensive. Hilarious, but offensive!


My Highlights:
Any scene with the baby space creature, as well as chase scenes with doors closing. Also really liked the scene explaining why everything is messed up on the ship.


Overall Rating:
The director was able to really nail the sense that this is a thriller sci-fi, because my heart was pounding quite a bit. Both the delivery of "loss of identity" story and the "creatures are on board with us" story were delivered great, and the idea to combine them was just genius! On paper at least. Most, myself included, will find that it feels overly complex in delivery. Things especially fall apart in the last ten minutes or so. Even though by that point in the movie, you have a very clear, concise notion of how the movie will end, the delivery just leaves you kind of empty. So I give this film a mediocre rating of 2 1/2 *'s out of 5, or 5 *'s out of 10.


When You Should See It:
Unless you're a big sci-fi geek, just pass on this one. The sci-fi geeks, who have sat through all of the awful films the SyFy network has put out and called "movies" will have a great appreciation for this film. But the mainstream just won't get it.

Minecraft

Minecraft... yes Minecraft. Why oh why is this so addictive, and why do we love it so? The game isn't even done being made, but we have all paid our $13, 10 pounds, or whatever the price of it in Canada to play the alpha version.

I'm really excited for Minecraft, because it shows that you don't need pretty graphics to make a great game. Sure there are people out there that judge the game by it's graphics. Also not everyone likes Minecraft, but I'm thinking it's because they didn't take the 10 mins to watch a tutorial video on YouTube about it. Also the game doesn't keep reminding you what to press to do what. The game is old school - you're by yourself. If you want something done. Figure it out, or look up a guide.

Silly me, I've gone two paragraphs without explaining what Minecraft is. The best explanation was from a man named underOATH, who said, "You just do s***, build s***, explore s***. It's fun." Enough said.

I've just recently got Minecraft, and already I'm having a blast with it. Doing what I want, building what I want, and fighting what I want, it's just relaxing. I find it funny that no matter how many people say it's great, there will be many people out there that refuse to buy it on the graphics alone.

Someone made this! Why? Because no one told them they couldn't!

Go play it!

Also let us know if you want to play Minecraft with us!

Raving Rabbids TV Show

According to Slash Film, a CGI animated/live-action combo TV show is in the works based off of the Raving Rabbids from the Rayman series. Even if you've never played a game where these silly rabbids are the focus, you've definitely seen them before.



They've become icons on par with Rayman himself, if not bigger, and if this future TV show lasts to a second season, I can see their iconagraphy only exploding further. Expect to see all the Hot Topic shoppers going to school wearing Raving Rabbid backpacks, t-shirts and buttons. As for the show itself, it has promise, but the delivery is going to matter a lot. The comedy and characteristics are already there and popular, and as anyone whose watched 30-Second Bunny Theater or Trigger Happy TV knows, the animal in question is always funny. What channel they land on is particularly interesting to me, as it sounds like a great Cartoon Network/Adult Swim, 15 minute, Robot Chicken-styled flurry of skits without any sense of continuity. But with the strong cult following Robot Chicken has and the money it makes for Cartoon Network, would the network want a secondary version of the show for a younger demographic?

CBVGR: Hybrid Heaven

Kevin Smith's New Horror Film "Red State"

According to Slash Film, Kevin Smith has two movies on the horizon for 2011. One of those films is "Hit Somebody", a dramedy starring Seann William Scott about a Hockey player more famous for his rink fights than his talent. The second is "Red State", and has got to be the boldest thing I've heard of Kevin Smith attempting. With films such as Clerks (I and II), Zack and Miri Make A Porno, Dogma, and I'll even throw in Chasing Amy, I thought Smith had set an unreachable bar for pushing the envelope. The one person who's been able to shock people in films as much as Smith has might be Sasha Baron Cohen.

"Red State" is a horror film (What? Horror? By Silent Bob?) which is already a bold move, taking himself out of his comfort zone as a writer and director to experiment with something new. Who knows, maybe he'll end up the next Wes Craven? Doubtful, as it may be advertised as horror, but the cast says it'll be like Zombieland horror. Kevin Pollak (Cop Out), John Goodman (The Big Lebowski), Kyle Gallner (The Haunting In Connecticut, Jennifer's Body, and A Nightmare on Elm Street. Shockingly a horror aficionado of this generation), Stephen Root (Office Space), Melissa Leo (Mr. Woodcock) and Michael Parks (Grindhouse/Kill Bill (I and II) fill the cast roster.

This motley crew will tell the tale of a group of kids vs. a crazy religious cult based off of the Westboro Baptist Church + Evil Occult Satanists. My guess is the cult has the advantage with the numbers game. But mocking a real crazy cult, titling it "Red State" implying Republican dominated states support the crazies, all bold moves. I can't wait to see this film just out of morbid curiosity. If it's on par with Cop Out, it'll still be better than anything M. Night Shyamalan's been doing.

A Donkey Kong Update

I didn't know this, but since the last time I talked about the Donkey Kong record being beat, there was a new record. Now I come to you again to tell you that there is a new record that beat the record I didn't know about! Steve Weibe is the new record holder. You might know him from having a previous record. He also was a star of the documentary King of Kong.

Also do I have to say it again!? No new records for Mappy!



At least this person tried.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Film Review

image from Amazon

Premise:
Persia is ruled by family values - The king and his two sons, his brother, and then out of pure awesomeness, the king adopts a third son off the street. Flash-forward till all the sons are in their 20's/30's and lead Persia's army into an attack on a "holy village" that are supplying Persian enemies with weaponry. Except not all is as it seems! As you could probably guess, somebody in the family wants all the power of the kingdom for himself and people start getting picked off. It becomes the duty of Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) and Princess Tamina of the "holy village" (Gemma Arterton) to set things right with the help of a dagger that made the village holy.





Standouts:
Man, there was a ton of action in this film! A ton of a ton of action. If I had to measure how much action was in this film using a unit of monkeys, I would say this movie had barrels of monkeys. Literally, barrels! But that kind of began to wear a little on me. Things become noticeably formulaic in the sense you get a "plant your feet and fight!" scene, then a dramatic scene to advance character development, then a chase scene, then a dramatic scene to advance character development, then a "plant your feet and fight!" scene, etc. etc. etc. And it's almost a full two hours in run-time, so it becomes a game to track whether or not it's going to continue with the formula or throw a curve ball. Other than that, not a whole lot else stands out about the film, overtly positive or negative. I was originally going to mention the ending being overly complex and back-peddling, but really it was just a thinker. Putting myself in the minds of the characters, and putting thought into the sorcery at hand in the film, everything pretty much made sense and left me satisfied.


My Highlights:
Ostrich racing, obviously. And seeing the primary villain get his comeuppance.


Overall Rating:
A lot of the "professional movie critics" out there gave this film a pretty poor score, but I disagree. It didn't really bring very much new to the table (at times I was screaming "THEY TOTALLY STOLE THAT FROM ALADDIN! WHERE'S GENIE!? BRING 'EM OUT HERE!) but everything it did, it did very well. It's kind of a thinker-action film, but those who like brain-dead popcorn-action films can probably like it just as much. The film got a lot of flack for pandering to video-game fanboys but I've never played any of the Prince of Persia games and still enjoyed it. There were the occasional directing sequence where I looked at the presentation and said "wow, that's very video game-esque cinematics" but it didn't detract from my enjoyment. I give this film a solid 4 *'s out of 5.


When You Should See It:
I wouldn't dissuade anyone from going out and renting this film. I wouldn't persuade them to either. Basically, if you have interest in seeing this film, go for it, but if not, wait for it to come to you and see how you feel about it when you find it channel-surfing.

Stan Lee The Real Hero

Do you know who Stan Lee is? You don't!? I'm going to punch you... oh oh oh you do know who he is now? Well you might know him from Spider-Man, and other great comics. Today he has talked about video games, and how he doesn't like it when politicians whine about video games.

Why would Stan Lee care?! For freedom of speech of course! Also the money he made off the new Spider-Man game. Stan Lee showed me the way to a place called Video Game Voters Network. This is a place where all gamers (that can vote) voice their opinions, and hopefully put a stop to all this madness! The madness being, politicians saying, "Hey mothers, you know why your kid didn't take out the trash? Well I'll tell you why! It was because he was trying to save the princess! If you vote me in, all trash will be taken out!" All mothers queue to shouting, "Down with video games!"

I'm hoping with Stan Lee coming onto the video gamer team will make more follow. It's too bad we will only get nerd celebs like Jack Black and Kevin Smith. That might make things worse for the confused protesters. "Stop video games! Stop Jack Smith! Stop Kevin Black!"

Future Competition For Facebook

Today, I stumbled upon an interesting debate on an interesting topic to social networkers. Firstly, thanks to Reddit, I was linked to an article in the NZ Herald about an upstarting social network called Diaspora, hoping to usurp the throne of Facebook. With a hopeful, goody-two-shoes attitude that would make Google blush, the four Washington students who created this site with $200,000 in donations wanted a version of Facebook that was more secure, and more open-source so that the user had a greater control of the site they use. Community, privacy, self-customization - other than the name Diaspora, it sounds great!

PC Magazine begs to differ. In a scathing article, the bush-league facebook knockoff is accused of being riddled with security problems, and gets "experts" to weigh in on just how awful the new site is. I can't attest to the validity of those quoted expertise, particularly because one of the people quoted was "one commenter on Hacker News", but I can also believe that an open-source site has it's vulnerabilities.

This can't be a black and white issue however. The gray appears to be that diaspora is a budding beta-nothing. Don't run off and sign up for it, wait for it to find its legs. And until it reaches a point of maturation, take everyone's heavy criticism with a grain of salt, as they could very likely be tools of "The Man" who've invested heavily in Facebook!

CBVGR: Lair

Regular Show Review

 image from Wikipedia

While Cartoon Network's "The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack" is highly acclaimed, it never hooked me in the few times I landed on it while channel surfing. The former creative director of that show, JG Quintel started up a new show of his own, The Regular Show (Tagline: It's anything but") and was approved for twenty-six episodes by Cartoon Network. If I had to try to describe the kind of humor in The Regular Show, I'd say it's a little bit of Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, a little bit of Spongebob Squarepants, a little bit of Ren and Stimpy and a little bit of Beavis and Butthead. It's even vulgar at times for a show not on adult swim! Granted it's on at 8:15 rather than middle of the afternoon, but technically that's not in adult swim territory!

After seeing this show advertised like the dickens, I decided to watch the first episode, titled "The Power" on Comcast On Demand. I enjoyed it SO MUCH that I re-watched it a few hours later online, and then a few hours later-later at a friend's house to share the wealth. Everything about the episode seemed like it was targeted toward people in my generation because jokes and fads were utilized that were seemingly most popular when we were kids. Remember Zenon Girl Of The Twenty-First Century? Who didn't do the sleeve-pump, heart-throb in reference to "Zoom Zoom Zoom! Make My Heart Go Boom Boom Boom!" Wrestling with 3 foot Hulk Hogan plush, and having battery operated simple keyboards that seemed like the be-all end-all of cool. It's like something me and my friends would have come up with.

Final Say: Watch this show at your nearest convenience. It's hysterical and likely to end up a huge deal. You're going to start seeing these characters on kids backpacks, slippers, lunch boxes (do kids still use traditional lunch boxes?) It's currently on Comcast's On Demand and on Cartoon Network's Website. Don't have the time right now to watch the thirteen minute episode? Here's a thirty second teaser.

Killers Review

 image from Amazon

Premise:
Ashton Kutcher is a government hitman on the last mission he intends on doing before retiring. Staying at the same hotel as Kutcher is lame duck Katherine Heigl on vacation with her family, who are trying to cheer her up about getting dumped by her last boyfriend. Sparks fly between the two, they instantly fall in love, and flash-forward to modern, quiet, suburban, married life between the two. Kutcher's government boss contacts him demanding he come back to work but he refuses. Suddenly killers come out of the woodwork from every which angle, all coming to collect a bounty on Kutcher's head. Kutcher and the out-of-place Heigl have to put their quiet life on hold to try to survive!


Standouts:
This film got a fair share of criticism from professional reviewers, and admittingly, I wasn't going in expecting a 5 * film based off the spoof-topic or lead actors. I wanted a goofy, fun, popcorn action flick, and that's what I got for the most part. The acting was great, the budget was exactly what it needed to be - fantastic action scenes, great directing for the most part (there were some points I would have changed to allude to the end better), and the pacing kept me glued to the TV. I truly felt invested in the survival of this couple. There were two negative aspects however that stood out to me. The first was how Katherine Heigl is getting type-cast in a lot of movies as simple, down-to-earth girl to "OMG! HATRED FOR EVERYONE! WHOLE WORLD IS AGAINST ME! GRR! HUNGRY! NOM-NOM-NOM! OK I LOVE YOU NOW!" Don't know if the directors are to blame for not asking Heigl for more subtly and complexity in her character when the camera is on, or if she genuinely only knows how to be one extreme or the other. If the latter is the case, at least pick up some roles as a witchy villain.

The second negative standout to me was the ending.

Just... what?

HOW DO YOU END A MOVIE THERE!?!?!?! MY HOUR AND FORTY MINUTES FEEL LIKE THEY'VE ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING AND THE CHARACTERS SEEM AS STUPID AS I AM FOR WATCHING THIS!


My Highlights:
I was pleasantly surprised with the action scenes involving Rob Riggle and Katheryn Winnick. They probably had 90% of their scenes done by stunt-doubles, but I totally believed it was them.


Overall Rating:
Killers was a great romantic action-comedy that was bitterly and infuriatingly ruined by the ending. Like, seriously ruined. The last ten minutes saw the BIGGEST destruction of the previous 90 minutes I've ever seen. It takes a profound understanding of what an audience wants, the unspoken contract between viewer and creater, and emotional investment to tease a great film and then crush everything. Bravo. 2 1/2 *'s out of 5 is the highest I can rate this film. I severely wish they either didn't bait-and-switch the audience at the half-way point to stick with the basic plot or added an additional fifteen minutes to the film to take it in a better direction. And by that I mean any other direction than what they did, because it could only be an improvement. Midgets, monkeys, and Nicolas Cage would have been an improvement.


When You Should See It:
If you're desperate to watch something. This isn't a rental, because when you spend your money to rent something, even on Netflix, most people have the urge to watch it from start to finish. Anyone who watches the finish of this likely bleeds from the eyes. I'm still cleaning up my face. If it comes on TV, give it a watch, primarily if you intend on leaving the house before it finishes, or if you're not intending on paying attention to what's on the screen. This film is ideal if you intend on putting something on your tv for the glow and the noise for you to fall asleep to.

O' bRienLY

Conan O'Brien is getting a new show on TBS. Yes we all knew that, but now we have a new ad of his show to look at. Him staring at us with an owl with eyes wide open. I'm wondering if Conan is keeping his beard for the show. I really could care less though if he has a beard, or not. I just want to see his new show!

For the people that don't know his new show starts November 8th.

Unbreakable by Fireflight Review

 image from Amazon

Artist: Fireflight
Album: Unbreakable
Release Date: March 4, 2008
Tracks: 10
Runtime: 34:49


Track Rundown:
(All ratings out of 5 *'s)


1) "Unbreakable" - The first single of the album that I discovered on Pandora when looking for similar artists to Paramore. While Fireflight doesn't have the same attitude as Paramore, they're pretty close in terms to sound and quality. This song rocks pretty hard and is fully deserving of 5 *'s since it was strong enough to get me to buy their album.

2) "You Gave Me a Promise" - A really cool opening guitar riff kicks this song off just right but things get a little lighter and pop-punk from there. During the chorus I sometimes think I'm listening to We The Kings, which is no insult because I enjoy that band as well, it's just something that stands out. Not a bad song, but missing a little something special to make it a truly memorable song. Particularly toward the end of the song I feel I can only give 4 1/4 *'s because that extra passion and "it" was there, but it was a shame it wasn't there the entire song.

3) "Brand New Day" - Very unlike the previous two tracks in the sense it doesn't feel like a "rock band" is singing the song. It feels more like a pop-country singer, or someone just off of American Idol was given a big production budget and told to let loose and rock out. Compared to Unbreakable, it doesn't feel like the band is really cutting loose but if this were the first song I had ever heard of Fireflight, I'd still probably fall in love with them. 5 *'s.

4) "The Hunger" - I typically love songs about insatiable hunger, desire, lust, etc. but this one I'm on the fence about. It's either a pretty decent song on the topic or overtly preachy on how to live your life. It does have a pretty heavy guitar riff at the very end though. 3 1/2 *'s.

5) "Stand Up" - This song makes me sad, but not because of the message. It saddens me because the music is so awesome, and the performance has the "it" factor, but the lyrics are so painfully "blah"! It has a great guitar riff in particular, backup singing by the band members, and if it were about something else it would be a 5 * song. Unfortunately, I can only give it 3 *'s.

6) "Forever" - Surprisingly not a single from the album but totally deserving to be. This is what we call a hidden gem! Great all around. 5 *'s.

7) "Go Ahead" - Pretty strict filler here. Not the worst thing I've ever heard but absolutely drudging compared to the other tracks. 2 *'s.

8) "The Love We Had Before" - An original concept for the album - a duet between the lead singer and one of her male band mates. Great concept, great singing by both, great delivery, but the message of the song isn't as cool and gritty as it had the potential to be. First thing I thought this song was going to be about was a relationship on the rocks. Instead, it's more along the lines of Black Eyes Peas' "Where Is The Love?" talking about world peace. ... No. 2 *'s. Moving on.

9) "So Help Me God" - I really liked this track. Another hidden gem that didn't get turned into a single but had all the tools to get popular. It actually touches upon the topic I thought the previous track would hit. 5 *'s.

10) "Wrapped In Your Arms" - STRAP IN KIDS! WE'RE GOING ACOUSTIC! Until about 2 minutes in, then we get a full orchestra of sound. Not a bad song. She has a very pretty singing voice and carries this very gracefully. It didn't have the same relatability and "it" factor in the verses, but the format and flow of the music was amazing. 4 *'s and a great way to close out the album on a positive note.


My Highlights:
"Unbreakable", "Brand New Day", "Forever", and "So Help Me God". Do a little digging and see if like the way these songs sound because they're the tip to an iceberg of awesomeness.


Overall Rating:
Averaging all the ratings to these tracks, the overall rating for this album is an impressive 3 3/4 *'s out of 5, or 7 1/2 *'s out of 10. On occasion I'll give or take a little bit of a rating from an overall rating due to matters like run-time, number of tracks, impressibility, etc. but I think this is a very accurate rating for the album Unbreakable. Very little is known about this band in the mainstream, and I'll let you in on the dirty little secret why. First off, did you listen to the links in My Highlights? Have an opinion formed of their music? Alright, here's the kicker.

They're a Christian Rock band. Now off name-value of the genre, if you had known that before-hand you may not have given them the same chance. The South Park episode "Christian Rock Hard" comes to mind, where all of the Christian Rock bands are mocked and made to look silly and overtly preachy and wimpy. Tying yourself to religion in today's modern age can give you a great niche audience ("You can go double Myrrh!"), but, it can isolate you from other fans.

Some bands that I discovered a love for before knowing how they defined their own genre - Reliant K, Thousand Foot Krutch, Switchfoot, and Stryper. Don't get me wrong, there's the softer side of Christian Rock that just sing hymns with the volume turned up, but so long as a band isn't hovering over you thumping a bible, talent = talent, and can't be ignored! And Fireflight is talented.

Review: Extreme Movie

Premise:


I'm not 100% sure why, but I've been on a quest to see every Michael Cera movie. One on the list was Extreme Movie. I wasn't really looking forward to this. Usually having the word movie in a movie title is a bad sign. I saw that the movie wasn't long at 75 minutes, but any longer and I probably would have kept putting off watching it. I knew that eventually if I wanted to say I've seen all of Michael Cera's movies (again don't ask why, but I do this with a lot of actors, and actresses) I would have to watch Extreme Movie.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Don't get me wrong, the movie wasn't good. I got through the whole thing, and I even laughed at a few moments. A few as in 4 or 5 times; not bad when you thought it was going to be 0.

My Highlights:
Michael Cera's Skit  about finding love on the internet

Overall Rating:
Being just a smash-up of mediocre skits and not what I was expecting, I can only give this movie 2 *'s out of 5.

When You Should See It:
You should just pass on this movie. If there are people like myself looking to see all of Michael Cera's films, just know that Extreme Movie could have been a lot worse to sit through. That's really the only reason you should watch it, or if you liked the movie The Girl Next Door (which a lot of people did... surprisingly).

Jay-Z Signs Will Smith's 9 Year Old Daughter

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Jay-Z has signed Will Smith's 9 year old daughter, Willow Smith to a record deal. First, we get Will Smith's son, Jaden in The Karate Kid, and now Willow will be all over the radio. Being the heir to fame has its perks. As funny as the story in summary sounds, Jay-Z claims he listened to Willow's material before he knew her age, or potentially who she even was, and was impressed by it. And with the amount of hits on youtube her main single already received, it was probably an easy-money decision.




If that statement was the only thing Jay-Z said on the matter, it probably would have come off entirely as a smart business decision, but everything else he said in that interview made me go "oh boy." Such quotes include,

"When you have that sort of talent, there is no such thing as too young."

While it's true there's no such thing as too young to be talented, you can be too young for fame. The majority of young girls (pubescent/pre-pubescent/Disney-endorsed) get exposed to success on the radio wind up highly scrutinized for turning their back on their young fan base when they do grow up, or will purposefully act out to break from their own shell. The Smith kids might, might have a fighting chance dealing with fame for being the kids of Will Smith, but having a famous dad never stopped Nicole Richie or Nick Hogan from getting in trouble. Another great quote from Jay-Z:

"She has a child's innocence but she has a clear vision of who she is and who she wants to be. I can only imagine that's how Mike [Michael Jackson] was as a young kid, he knew exactly what he wanted."

Granted, maybe Jay-Z personally knew MJ, or at least knew him better than myself. I never read any biography on Jackson or really followed or researched his career or life, but from what I think I know without doing much research, maybe comparing Willow's drive and passion to MJ who had his childhood robbed by his abusive, child-laboring father isn't the kindest compliment. Hopefully Jay-Z just comes out and admits he signed the squeaky-voiced girl-rapper to combat Lil Wayne's label: Young Money's Nicki Minaj. But sadly, what the world needs now (not love, sweet love) is new blood to have children scream over and creepy adults count down until they reach a legal age. Miley Cyrus, Miranda Cosgrove, Justin Beiber, they're all practically adults!

Feel old!

But oh my Kermit The Frog will I ever be on board for a future VMA duet between Willow Smith and the greatest rapper ever. Her mentor.

CBVGR: Glover

Video Review:

Script: Welcome to the Clearance Bin Video Game Review by Organized Remains. We are playing Glover on the PS1. It's also available for the N64. Glover can cost $5 on the N64, and $10 for the PS1 over at Amazon. I want to send a thanks to Fuelfan42 for suggesting this game to us. I've been told that it’s many people's favorite childhood game. I've noticed that I will love a game as a child, and I will play it again as an adult, and hate it, but it can go both ways.

Who is Glover? Well he's the five finger discount, lady lovin, ball spinning, hand smashing machine. When something happens to his lovely crystals, he goes into game plan. He transforms some of the crystals into different balls. Now he must go after seven crystals and bring them back to his castle. Thank Kermit the Frog for Wiki, because I don't remember Glover transforming crystals into a bouncy ball.

There are different types of balls, from a bouncy ball, to a bowling ball. They each have different abilities, and help you throughout the game. Also Glover himself has moves that helped defeat enemies, and push buttons.

Playing this game I was reminded of my childhood. I never played this as a child, but the quirkiness of this game is just fun to see. The game is playful, and I wish I played this as a child. Unfortunately I didn't, and as an adult the controls are killing me. Controlling Glover without a ball is fine and dandy. It's when he has a ball with him, things get frustrating. It's not just the controls, but the camera angles too. For example: I'm waiting for this platform to ride over here, and I can't even turn enough to see if it's coming.

Getting off the ball is very frustrating too! I'm at a platform waiting for the other platform to arrive. I have to get off the ball, so the ball can stay on a button to keep the platform moving. When I press L2 to get off the ball, Glover jumps off, and falls off the platform to his death, or a part of the level that was at the beginning. You have to place Glover perfectly so he doesn't fall off.

I know I complained about the controls a lot, and that's really the only complaint I have. The idea of the game is awesome, and a sequel, or a remake with better controls, and camera angles would be great.

Final Say: Alright I gone over the controls, but that doesn't mean it's a bad game. Croc had bad controls, but I still loved the game. While I enjoyed Croc more than Glover, that doesn't mean Glover should be avoided. It's one of the cult classics of video games, and everyone should give it a shot. The price isn't asking for much.

Olympic-Sized @$&Hole

According to Slashfilm, two underrated comedy legends-in-the-making will be teaming up in a new movie sure to blow people away. Aziz Ansari, known for his work in Funny People, Parks and Recreations, Observe and Report, and his stand-up comedy, will buddy up with Danny McBride, known for his work in Tropic Thunder, Pineapple Express, Hot Rod and Land of the Lost. The film will tell the tale of an Olympic athlete who returns to his hometown to have sexual relations with each of the girlfriends of McBride and Ansari. The pair then vow to team up and destroy his life! Even as potentially sexist as this could be, I'm totally seeing it. I'll have to keep my ear to the ground however about what this ends up renamed, because if Kevin Smith's "A Couple of Dicks", working with beautiful double-entendre could get past the censors, this sure doesn't have a chance.

Happy Birthday Adam Sandler

Adam Sandler is some what of an idol around New Hampshire. He was raised (not born) here, and all the locals love him. Today happens to be his birthday, and why not celebrate with my top 5 Adam Sandler movie list!

5. Funny People
Some might disagree with me, but I found this movie to be very entertaining. It might have been a little long, but it had some great moments to it. Overall the movie had a great story to tell.

4. Mr. Deeds
The film took place in New York... and New Hampshire! This was one Adam Sandler movie I thought was ok the first time I saw it. As I saw it again and again I started to realized that I liked it a lot more than when I first saw it.

3. Airheads
One of Adam Sandler's first movie roles. This movie is not like any other Sandler film. He's the quiet one in the movie, but the movie still proved to be hilarious, and an instant classic. Not many people have seen this movie, and that's a shame.

2. Happy Gilmore
Call me crazy, but I found this movie to be better than Caddy Shack. Don't get me wrong Caddy Shack was a great movie, but Happy Gilmore had me laughing so much. That's why it's at number 2. Also, Ben Stiller's character was epic.

1. Billy Madison
I've seen this movie on some lists of the worst movies of all time. I would have to disagree with them 100%. This movie is one of the most funniest movies I've ever seen, and one of the most quotable. No one will be able to change my mind!

"What!? No Waterboy?"

Bruce Campbell Talks ABout Evil Dead Blu-Ray

We here at Organized Remains we recognize Bruce Campbell for the cult icon that he is. We've reviewed such tie-ins to Campbell here as Evil Dead: Fistful of Boomstick, My Name Is Bruce, and Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs. Despite mixed reviews in those different articles, Evil Dead will always be held in high regard with us. That is why I spread this interview that Campbell did with Entertainment Weekly, where he talks about the recent release of Evil Dead (his first movie) on Blu-Ray. It's a brief read with not a ton of hard hitting questions, but the most important thing mentioned is that there are no plans to create a remake/reboot of the series, or another sequel. With all of Hollywood trying to sink their filthy claws into any franchise with name recognition for just that reason, it's good to know that at least this franchise is safe.

I for one plan on buying this Blu Ray as an investment for Halloween next month. I'll also be thanking Netflix Instant Watch for what I'm sure will be a tremendous selection of horror flicks next month. And on that note, it dawned on me quite recently that it's technically called "Watch Instantly" on their website, not "Instant Watch". I was quite troubled by this discovery since we've used our own coining so often, so I had to go to the Organized Remains Battlestation (ORB) to measure the volume of apathy or interest I should take in the subject of being politically correct.

There you have it. Instant Watch it shall remain to us.

Organized Remain's Worms Reloaded Map

We just noticed that the post we had ready for today was never posted. As a sorry please enjoy an Organized Remain's Worms Reloaded map!

Click here for map download!

If you need help on where to put the map, or how to make your own go here.

Thoughts on Worms: Reloaded

I've always been a fan of the 2D Worm series. I couldn't get too much into the 3D Worm games, but when they announced Worms: Reloaded I was quite excited. Worms: Reloaded goes back to the 2D roots, and is basically a remake of Worms 2 and Worms Armageddon.

Gameplay:


Pros

• Classic Worm controls work great.
• The level editor has a lot to work with.
• I like the shop that allows you to spend the points you earn while you play the game.

Cons

• Only 4 worms per team. There must be a reason for this!
• Worms' voices get annoying.

Final Say: I love Worms: Reloaded! It's really fun to play against friends, and the game overall is a blast. It's not perfect, but it's the Worms game I've been waiting for.

Cop Out Review

image from Amazon

Premise:
Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan are a stereotypical pair of buddy cops who both deal with personal issues (Morgan thinks his wife is cheating on him and Willis has to pay for his daughter's wedding), and business issues (the entire department thinks their a joke, and they're unorthodox manner of destroying things and causing a public nuisance while trying to solve crimes don't help!) The main conflict comes when Bruce Willis tries to sell a mint condition baseball card worth a huge heap of money but it gets stolen from him in a coincidental store robbery. Now the buddy cops have to get it back!


Standouts:
I know Nick feels differently, but personally, I wasn't a fan of Seann William Scott's character. I thought he was too juvenile, too over the top, and felt like he was putting too much into a character with no real significance. His character should have either been given more time to develop or Scott should have toned it down a notch. Other standouts include predictability in Tracy Morgan's conflict and a really lame ending for the primary villain of the film. You think the primary villain is going to get a respectable run only to be let down tasting anti-climactic bitterness.


My Highlights:




Overall Rating:
The predictability in areas where there shouldn't have been such, and the unpredictability when you needed logical closure really brought the film down for me, but it was still a lot of fun in areas. I give this film a respectable 3 *'s out of 5, or 6 *'s out of 10.


When You Should See It:
It's not a movie to make an active effort to go out and see, but it's not a movie to make an active effort to avoid either. If you're over a friend's house and he's got in on, give it a watch and see how you feel, but don't be that friend who wasted a rental queue spot on it.

CBVGR: Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard and Matt Hazard: Blood Bath and Beyond

Video Review:


Script: Welcome to the Clearance Bin Video Game Review by Organized Remains. Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard is what I'm playing today. I'm playing it on the PS3, but it's also available for the Xbox 360. I want to send a thanks to ImmortalSlayer90 for telling us about this game, and that it's only $17.99 at GameStop. The was before, and now Matt Hazard is even cheaper, and can be found for $10 shipped at Half.com. I will also be reviewing the sequel Matt Hazard: Blood Bath and Beyond which is on the PSN, and Xbox Live Arcade for $15.

First on to Matt Hazard... ugh I mean Eat Lead. In my opinion I think Matt Hazard: Eat Lead sounds like a better name. Well they did change it for the sequel to Matt Hazard, so kodos to them. This whole game is parodies of other games, so if you've never played a video game before, you will get lost when it comes to the story. Well actually you will be lost during the whole game.

Matt Hazard the character is a parody of Duke Nukem I believe. Possibly Serious Sam. Other characters in the game poke fun of other video game characters, like the level 75 Billy the Wizard for an example. The levels, tutorials, and loading screens poke fun at video game cliches. The more in-depth story is about Matt Hazard an action gaming icon of the 80s. He has a lifetime contract with a company, and now the only way the company can get rid of him is to kill him off. You get help from a girl that works with the company, shes not as funny, but helps you a lot in the game. The story is very entertaining, and will make you laugh at points.

As for the gameplay dun dun dun the controls are not the best, but I think they work. Sure you have to get use to it, but in no time you'll be fine. The game is difficult, and can get frustrating at times. Especially this giant squid, luckily there's a checkpoint during it. Which I must thank the developers for giving me plenty of checkpoints. Also dodging for cover can be frustrating. I'm behind a box, and I want to go to the other box across the room. I will hit the action button, and he will move to the box, but be on the wrong side of it. Now I'm in direct line of fire. You're just better off running over there without the game's help.

Final Say: Eat Lead proves to be a good game. Sure the gameplay could have been better, and it can get repetitive, but the story is entertaining. The game itself won't keep you playing, it's the story. Think about that when purchasing this game, because if you just want a great shooter you should probably look somewhere else. If you want a funny story, and take a break from the more serious type stories other games put out there, go with Eat Lead.

This is Organized... Shawn - "WHAT ABOUT THE MATT HAZARD SEQUEL!"

Oh right Matt Hazard: Blood Bath and Beyond like I said it's $15 for the PSN, or Xbox Live Arcade. This time Matt Hazard is in the 2D world, running side to side. All the parodies of other games are still in this one, and Matt Hazard is always cracking jokes. This time though there isn't any voice acting, it's just text. They do make jokes about the voice acting not being there, but it does bring the game down a little.

The game is basically just like Contra, and Metroid. Running along, and BAM! Then some more running along, and BAM! The game looks nice visually, and the controls work pretty well, but it does get repetitive. Luckily this game can be completed in 2 to 3 hours... oh wait that's a bad thing.

Final Say: I can't recommend Matt Hazard: Blood Bath and Beyond. $15 for a 2 to 3 hour game!? I just can't! Even if it's on sale it's hard to recommend. Not when Shadow Complex is the same price, and that game offers a lot more, and is much longer.

GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra Review

image from Amazon

Premise:
In a not too distant, surprisingly non-dystopian future where we've cured cancer with nanotechnology (molecule sized... robots or something that interact with blood cells), President of the Scottish M.A.R.S. company, James McCullen turns the beautiful medical technology into a weapon by creating nanobot-warheads for America. McCullen gets caught selling to both sides however, also providing Cobra Commander with the weapons. Simple, straight-laced, following-orders to deliver from point-A to point-B, army foot soldiers, Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) survive their convoy team being utterly destroyed by Cobra who try to steal Warheads. They then join the elite intercepting team who save their lives but still lose the warheads, GI Joe. Now the race is on to get those warheads back before people the world over are forced to have their back against the wall against a powerful terrorist organization.


Standouts:
The colors and special effects are pretty and dazzling at times. Nothing you haven't seen before, but at least utilized well. The acting and dialog teeter-totters from cool, to bearable, to laughable for the wrong reasons. Honestly when the movie was hitting theaters there was a buzz around like it was the worst movie ever made and people who worked on it knew this ahead of time, so I went in expecting something to tear apart and crack jokes about but I was pleasantly surprised. For the most part I believed in the characters. Joseph Gordon-Levitt was a throwback to sinister, evil, madmen doctors from years past, Channing Tatum was a heart's-bigger-than-head brave leader, Lee Byung-Hun (Storm Shadow) was a completely believable twisted Asian martial artist/ninja that made me hope to see more of him in American films. Sienna Miller as The Baroness and Rachel Nichols as Scarlett looked gorgeous but probably had the worst acting. But at least their characters were pretty cool. And hott.


My Highlights:
I really enjoyed the whole Paris chase scene as everyone rushes to the Eiffel Tower, even if it incorporated the much ridiculed Iron Man-esque super cyborg suits that give people monkey-like agility. It may be because I never watched the original GI Joe cartoons or read the GI Joe comics, but seeing as how in the last 20+ years we've only gotten more and more obsessed with advancing technology, especially in our military, I could buy it. Other highlights include every Storm Shadow vs. Snake-Eyes fight, and the entire conclusion of the film. It made me hungry for a sequel!


Overall Rating:
It wasn't exactly The Expendables, but it was leaps and bounds better than what I went in expecting. It's got some great action, some great characters, some great looking babes and you only have to sit through the occasional scene of crappy acting or dialog. I loved it enough to rate it 3 1/2 *'s out of 5, or 7 out of 10.


When You Should See It:
If you're looking to rent a cheesy, non-thinker of a popcorn action flick, you could do worse than this film. Go for the rent. I also imagine it'll be on cable TV or at least pay TV soon because it wasn't long before it reached Netflix Instant Watch, which is how I watched it. I have a pretty extensive queue on Instant Watch but I have no regrets having watched this over other films on there.

Beyond Survival Review

I almost missed this new show Beyond Survival. I'm not sure if the show was advertised that much, but I didn't catch one commercial for it until I saw that it was after Man, Woman, Wild. When I saw that Les Stroud from Survivorman was back in action I was very excited.

Beyond Survival isn't like any other survival show out there. It shows the ways of different people in different locations surviving. They're technically surviving, but it doesn't end with Les Stroud finding a way home. Instead it's Les Stroud getting lessons on survival from people, and then teaching the T.V. viewers like myself how it's done.

At first I wasn't so sure about this show. That was until they started showing how they get food. When it comes to fishing this tribe gets a tall stick/log and builds a seat on it. They then stick the log into the ground in the water. They sit on the top of it, and fish in the middle of the body of water. Then they showed a slingshot that looked like a bow an arrow. It's hard to explain it in writing, but I found a video of what it looked like. After seeing these things in action, I was enjoying this show a lot.



Final Say: Beyond Survival is a little different than the other survival shows, but still proves to be very educational at the same time of being entertaining. I can't promise that all survival show fans will enjoy this show, but I think most of them will. This is a show worth checking out on the Discovery Channels on Fridays.

Asylum by Disturbed Review

image from Amazon

Artist: Disturbed
Album: Asylum
Release Date: August 31, 2010
Tracks: 13 (plus bonus songs in Deluxe Editions)
Runtime: 47:32


Track Rundown:
(All ratings out of 5 *'s)


1) "Remnants"
All instrumental and a beautiful piece of music. It's heavy on the the guitar riffs and yet mourningful and dramatic, kind of like "One", "Welcome Home" or "Fade to Black" by Metallica. And it floats right into the second track, which is a cool album-device to use, especially if you use it right. 4 *'s out of 5, only losing a little bit of it's charm because it's so short.


2) "Asylum"
Do you like the guttural dog-monkey noise that lead singer David Draiman makes in some songs? I do! So I love this song. Every minute of this four and a half minute track somehow surpasses the awesomeness of the last. 5 *'s out of 5.


3) "The Infection"
This track has some amazing guitar work, both in the opening of the song and in the empty bridges near the chorus. The lyrics and chorus are phenomenal but the pace of the verses really kind of sours the song for me. It felt a little too light and ... dare I say, pop-rock. Still not an awful song though, 3 3/4 *'s out of 5.


4) "Warrior"
Similar to the song "Indestructible" from Disturbed's last album (also named Indestructible), this song I'm kind of on the fence about because it's so raw, gritty and loud. I like the lyrics and the tone, but there's something a little too rough about it. However, I know that when I hear the song again a few times, especially if matched with some awesome videos like a Call of Duty commercial or a video tributing something bad to the bone, I'll fall madly in love with this track. So keeping that in mind, I give this track 4 1/2 *'s out of 5.


5) "Another Way To Die"
The first track of the album that lead me to buying this album essentially blind (meaning without hearing any of the other songs). It's so in your face and packs so much attitude that I can't not love it. 5 *'s out of 5.


6) "Never Again"
This song would be wild to witness/hear live at a concert. The music is nothing short of incredible, but I'm actually on the fence about the lyrics. It's really driven home that the lead singer is Jewish and is still torn up about the Holocaust, especially when there are people out there who believe it never happened. I know this isn't the first time Disturbed have touched upon something semi-political, if that's even the right word for talking about this subject, but it doesn't reel me in. If the lyrics are just a little more vague talking about genocides in general rather than the specific WWII occurrence I think it would have effected a much vaster audience. I mean there are still genocides going on today. 4 *'s out of 5, but it might be a generous rating.


7) "The Animal"
Werewolf songs are awesome so long as you block out images from Twilight when listening to them. Other excellent Werewolf (or similar) songs, "She-Wolf" by Megadeth, "Animal I Have Become" by Three Days Grace, "Werewolf Women of the SS" by Rob Zombie, and "Werewolf, Baby!" also by Rob Zombie. There's something very relatable to having a wild Id (psychology term) that wants to break lose, and that'll score some brownie points with me. 5 *'s out of 5.


8) "Crucified"
This track I feel like I'm going to be unfair to, because if it came from a band like Breaking Benjamin it would instantly respark my long-long-long-lost love for that band. If any new band came out with this song, I'd love them. It's edgy and racy, but on the whole for the album it's really one of the least pleasing songs. It's a big letdown from some of the five star tracks I've heard, but I still can't find a way to give it a bad score. 3 *'s out of 5, though it hurts me to do so.


9) "Serpentine"
Mad TV has ruined this track title for me. Anybody remember Loraine and her always-behind-the-camera husband Carl causing mischief then bolting while Loraine calls out "Serpentine!"? Anyways, while "your heart is serpentine" (meaning s-shaped) is a cool line, I couldn't get into this song much. Pretty skippable, but still can appreciate the work that went into it. 3 *'s out of 5.


10) "My Child"
According to Wikipedia, this is a song about miscarriage. What a perky topic! No, really, it's about much more than that. The story tells the tale of a man into all the bad stuff, sinning it up and going crazy, but when he finds out he's going to be a dad he puts childish behavior away. Then his kid doesn't make it and he's left empty and broken. THAT'S DEEP! 5 *'s for me for singing about a real topic.


11) "Sacrifice"
While not as catchy as the ever-popular "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit, similar message but with the darkness turned way up. I can dig it. 4 *'s out of 5.


12) "Innocence"
Boy, does that Disturbed like to sing about Hell or what? A reminder at how desensitized we are to all the bad news in the media, while the lead singer isn't. He's sick of hearing about the dad who murders his family, or mothers killing their children. Music-wise it's not the best track on the album, but overall the song is a thinker and has a good message. 4 *'s out of 5.


13) "Ishfwilf" AKA "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" originally by U2
When I saw this on the track listing my curiosity generated a "lol, I gotta hear this." Apparently it's supposed to be a secret bonus track, because you get a minute and a half of silence before anything kicks in. ... Yeah, that's a good idea in today's modern day of digital media. I really wanna put this song on my iPod or even on my computer so that whenever I get to this track I have to freak out and wonder why my stereo/speakers aren't working. And as if people don't have internet these days and are FORCED to go just off of what tracks are listed on the back cover of the album rather than look at the Amazon/iTunes/etc track listing. Just... what? But with my face-palm to the producers out of the way, this song is hilariously epic. It's not bad at all and in my mind shows another side to the band saying they know they're supposed to be dark, brooding and loud, but they're still humans who have other interests and occasional moments of happiness. And the tone of the albeit heavy metal cover is one of brevity saying "Hey, we like to have fun too!" I love it just for the ridiculousness. 5 *'s out of 5.


My Highlights:
"Asylum", "Another Way To Die", "The Animal", "My Child", and "Ishfwilf" just for the sure ridiculousness.


Overall Rating:
Averaging all the track ratings, the overall rating for Asylum is a whopping 4 1/2 *s out of 5! That's 9 out of 10! And if you pick up a deluxe edition of this album (the version I got off of Amazon included a live version of "Down With The Sickness" and "Stricken") then this might even include an extra 1/4 * for you! Just the standard edition alone however blows most albums today's music industry serves out of the water!