Apr 10, 2012

The Thing Review


Premise:
Lots of cool stuff in antartica. Like snow, and ice, and aliens! A group of researchers discover a frozen alien space craft with frozen aliens inside. The researchers think they're going to dig the aliens out and ship them back to America to study and put on display and reap all the rewards researchers can reap. Yeah, right. The aliens are still alive! And while they're big and dangerous and scary on their own, they're made ten times worse that anyone they eat they can take the form of. So the research team finds themselves trapped in Antarctica by a snow storm, hunted by aliens, and they can't even trust the person to their left or right.


Standouts:
Man these characters were hard to care about. Our main female lead, Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) and random side character Lars (Jørgen Langhelle) are the only people who I cared about at all, which is sad considering there were probably a dozen frequently featured characters. Lars was Boba Fett levels of great side character. The love interest, the helicopter pilots, the scientists and jerk boss were all so boringly sculpted to be Thing-fodder. On a positive note, the kill scenes were amazing.

My Highlights:
The first transformation from human to Thing, Lars lighting suckers up, and the very final scene with Lars.

Overall Rating:
2011 rendition of The Thing feels like an alien sci-fi version of Final Destination. The entire film's entertainment is based upon innovative kills and nothing else. One of the main plot points really irritated me too. THERE'S ONE GUY IN THE ROOM WITH GOOD ORAL HYGIENE!? ONE!? Not a movie I would go back and watch again or recommend. Overall rating:

** ½
2 1/2 *'s out of 5.

When You Should See It:
If you really like movies that are just about the kills, put this... second on your list. Probably a million better slasher films you should watch before this one. And even if you've seen all of them and want to watch it just to see the prequel of John Carpenter's 1982 classic, then put John Carpenter's The Thing as #1 on your watch queue to relive it before you dive into 2011's The Thing.

image from Amazon

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